Math IA

B others and B ackbone It didn’t take Byron long to notice the oncoming danger. He looked out the caravan window, Eddie craning his neck over to take a look. Bonnie turned as she heard a piercing squawk of fright -­ not from Eddie, but from Byron. His eyes filled with fear. “What’s below that? Water? Dust? More rocks? What does it matter, we’re done for… you know my psychic guide told me I’d be taking a significant fall later in the week;; something about my Libra moon… just didn’t realise it would be this kind of fall! A literal one that is…” Byron was growing more and more hysterical by the second, panicking and blabbering that culminated in a desperate search through the speeding caravan for incense ‘to call on the spirits and manifest positivity’. Bonnie stood, speechless, as the human hurricane around her raged on. Upon finding that the caravan had no incense, Byron panicked. He was furious, incensed even. (Sorry. Had to be done.) “Oh my god what are we going to do? I don’t have incense so I can’t use my chakra to save us, why on earth wouldn’t you have incense? Incense is the cure of all, the cure of everything, it is the only thing my dying moments that could possibly matter…” Bonnie snapped out of her shock. “Would you just shut up? If you hadn’t sneaked into my caravan, my home, we would have never gotten into this mess! Now we are going to die and it’s all your fault! How would incense even help us? We are hurtling towards a cliff at one hundred kilometres an hour! Do you think that some stinking smoke is going to help us! You really are a total and complete -­” Well, my dear reader. It looks as though our two beloved protagonists have hit the peak of their conflict. How very exciting. So who on Earth would be able to help them? Well, of course there is only one person… or rather, animal. Eddie the Emu cleared his throat. (Can an emu clear its throat? Actually, it doesn’t matter either way. He cleared his throat.) “Um, hello? I’m still here you know,” he puffed (Again, it doesn’t matter whether emus can puff. This one can.). Bonnie rolled her eyes, still panicking. “And how in the world are you going to help us, Mr Actual Talking Emu?” Bonnie was starting to accept that there was no way out of this, as there was definitely nobody in this caravan that would possibly be able to save them. Staring out the window, she missed the sly smile that appeared on Eddie’s face.

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