Truly Tan Baffled

‘Quiet, everyone,’ calls Mr Lamble from the stage. Mr Lamble is the Deputy Principal and he is nice and we like him. Today his bow tie has lemons on it. ‘Where’s Scooter?’ I say, looking around. ‘Ted is on the end of our row, but there’s no Scooter.’ Gloria shrugs. ‘Search me.’ ‘Settle down, everyone,’ says Mr Lamble. ‘The heating has gone kaput. So I’m afraid conditions are arctic. Let’s get this over as quickly as possible, shall we? Miss Zucko, Miss Dragone, if you please …’ Miss Zucko taps her music stand and Miss Dragone pounds out some opening chords on her electronic keyboard. The Happy Wanderers Grade Three Choir is up on the stage because it is their turn to entertain. ‘Sing along, everyone!’ calls Mr Lamble into his microphone. ‘It will warm you up.’ It is a ridiculous thing to sit on a cold floor on a Monday morning and sing a stupid song called ‘Every Glowing Candle’. But it is also funny, and Verity and Lily get the giggles and so do Gloria and I, but Miss Dragone has her back to us and she can’t see us which is lucky. ‘I love the end of term. It’s so exciting,’ says Gloria from

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