Associate Magazine FBINAA Q1-2023

A MESSAGE FROM OUR CHAPLAIN

F B I N A A . O R G | Q 1 2 0 2 3

Mike Hardee

The Fear Virus

F ear can create anxiety to the point of incapacitating us, but numerous studies have also shown that stress can some times be empowering and motivating. I recently read The Fear Virus by Ed Young , a recognized New York bestselling author and founding pastor of Fellowship Church in Texas. Young helps the reader identify the fears that many of us struggle with and offers a spiritual antidote. To understand how it works, first, let me share a story – There is probably no one in law enforcement history who was more afraid on the first night of my new job than I was. I was 21. I'd had only two weeks of training when they pulled me out of the academy and sent me to Levy County--a three-hour drive and a world away from everything I knew. They'd put me into active duty as a wildlife officer because I was the only rookie in the class who’d had any previous law enforcement experience. But that didn't mean a thing, because I only knew how to be a city cop on the streets of Green Cove Springs, not how to patrol nearly 2 million acres of swampland crawling with armed night hunters, with no backup. I had no clue how to apprehend an outlaw at night in the middle of the woods. In those years only the strongest survived, as I was often reminded by my supervisors. To show fear at any level was to show weakness and lack of faith in yourself. I truly lacked self confidence, but I also couldn’t admit it to anyone. The fear of failure affected everything I did. It wasn’t until I was taken under the wing of a retired Florida game warden, and he became my mentor, teacher, and trainer that things began to change for the better. His name was Fred Kirkland. Over the next several years, he challenged me in ways I never would have chal lenged myself. But first, he needed to test my faith in myself. One moonless night deep in the cypress swamps of Levy County, Fred insisted I track down and arrest two known poach ers that had previously shot at me weeks before, when I had stumbled upon them illegally hunting wild hogs on a salt marsh island on the coast in Northwest Florida. The barrage of gunfire from their semi-automatics had me pinned down in the thick, Gulf Coast sawgrass and I was unable to return fire, so they got away that night. Though I didn’t admit it to him, Fred saw the fear in me and knew that I needed the confidence to get back out there and face my fears, without his assistance, so that I would learn to depend only on my own instincts. Fred pushed me to go back after them, and I knew there would be no turning back. It turns out, there was only one thing I feared more than my lack of confidence in myself, and that was the fear of failing in Fred’s eyes. That’s what empowered me to turn my fear into a positive motivator. Fortunately, I found the courage to ambush both hunters in total darkness and make the arrest without incident (to Fred’s delight, I might add). That night, I had earned my stripes. Fear became a motivating force rather than a paralyzing one.

But fear alone, regardless of what is driving it, can and often does take its toll on us – just look at the number of suicides that occur each year in our profession. As law enforcement officers we’re supposed to be strong and resilient — we are often seen as the answer to the problem, not riddled with problems ourselves. Without someone we can trust to confide in about our doubts and concerns, it’s nearly impossible to overcome our fears. “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.” Proverbs 12:25 These days we seem to have less time to talk, listen, and learn from each other than in years past. There is just too much demand for our time. We are clearly doing more with the same number of hours in the day than before, but are we spending the time we need with each other in a way that shows we care? As we make promises to ourselves in the form of New Year’s resolutions, I ask all of us to be kind to ourselves by sharing our fears and our needs with a mentor, friend, or loved one. And con versely, find the time to keep a watchful eye on our brothers and sisters who may be too afraid to admit what’s bothering them. And when we can’t find someone we can trust to confide in, there’s an alternative. This brings us back to the book, The Fear Factor , and its message. The author offers a peek into the spiritual world of what is and isn’t important. He explains how the fear factor can change our lives if we learn to cope through faith and our spiritual relationship with God. Being able to share your fears with God and asking Him for guidance is the key. “Fear of God, the love of God, and hope in God, all of which we will receive through a relationship with Him, is the vaccine to the fear virus .” 1 Fred passed away many years ago, but my relationship with God has become my lifeline, especially in times of extreme fear, worry and sadness. In those moments, I turn to Him for comfort and help. “Our respect for the Lord, our gratitude for his mercy, and the understanding that God loves us is our path to wisdom.” (Proverbs 9:10)

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