STACK#127 May 2016

GAMES

FEATURE

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There are aspects of video games that annoy all of us. We’ve drawn up a list of features we never want to see or do again.

Be Drunk. I'd say I'm sufficiently versed in the art of being drunk and once upon a time, in my younger years, could probably have been classified a specialist. I have no desire to be drunk in a video game. Blurring the screen and

Escape from a Prison. I've escaped from more prisons than Hilts, 'the cooler king' himself. Deus Ex, Resistance 3, Black Ops, Oblivion, Saints Row 2, Assassin's Creed: Unity... the list is endless. In fact, I could write

Protection/Escort Missions. One word: Infuriating. I don't want to be forced to protect an NPC with deficient AI who cannot find a suitable position to 'stay out of trouble' while I mop up any resistance, or who suddenly loses

making the character almost impossible to control for all of 30 seconds doesn’t simulate intoxication. It just makes the user feel motion sick. Perhaps the inclusion of a hangover mode would therefore be more relevant. Rappel. I didn't mind doing it once. In fact, I quite enjoyed it in COD 4 . 18 games later and countless directives to descend rapidly down a wall/cliff and then enter a room through a shattering window, and I've had enough. It's creative apathy, has been overdone, and no one wants to see it. If I was a studio head and

a magazine full of the times that I've been forced to become a fugitive in a dramatic – or undramatic – escape. Unfortunately, it's entered prerequisite territory and has become tedious. And I always escape. At least make it challenging. Follow Someone. Again, high on the list of developer 'must-haves' is the insistence that at some point during a game, I will have to follow someone and not get caught. It could be in a car or leaping across rooftops in a desperate effort not to break the sight of the intended target

the ability to fight despite previously displaying formidable combat skills. I hate, hate, HATE protection missions. Illuminated Enemies. Remember the days where you would creep around every corner of every building not knowing who or what was laying in wait or patrolling on the other side? Well, now with the use of a gadget/heightened sense of awareness, you can see through walls and reveal the living occupants of the next room. Wait, watch and learn programmed habits in order to silently slip past or deliver a coup de grace from behind.

It worked fabulously well in Arkham Asylum , but like any good innovative feature in video games, it's immediately deemed necessary, copied, and swiftly implemented. File under uninspiring.

somebody suggested a rappel sequence during the planning stages of a developing game, I'd throw them out of a window – without a line.

and lose them. Either way, it's a frustrating, pointless and unrealistic chain in the narrative. Drop it. Please.

MAY 2015 JB Hi-Fi www.jbhifi.com.au

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