Trafika Europe 9/10 - UK in Europe

All the voices

him for lapping up the admiration. He was dead cheesy. I always thought so. And yet, take away the obvious and you’re left with something in the structure of all this which connects us. Vanishing and then re-appearing somewhere else. Simple as that. It may even have been while watching Craig doing his sodding magic tricks that I first became aware of myself and of my real ambition for escape. A dire thought: I wonder how much my uneven leg lengths affected the way I think; whether I’m in a permanent state of embarrassment about my limp. It’s kind of a shame to think that the most fundamental core of me should be constructed by my deformity. I like to think my self inventions are

ideals and quite removed from the pragmatic approach to life. In my secret head space at least, I don’t care about my legs, and am cool with the idea of imperfection. And I revel in my outlook. It’s like giving a two fingers to the world and its precious vanity. A two fingers once and for all, mind, not a continual reprimand. Because as I’ve already indicated, I did not want to have this kind of dialogue going on ad infinitum. Accepting my limp made me feel strong. I wasn’t fazed by it. In the abstract. Given time I’d get to where I wanted to be. With each passing day the urge to vanish was becoming more intent. Part of me wished magic was for real and I wouldn’t have to do everything the hard way. But that was

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