Trafika Europe 9/10 - UK in Europe

JayMerill

gave me this news I just couldn’t help blurting out that I’d be leaving shortly too. It was against my better judgement as I didn’t want anyone in my house to know I was going beforehand but I hadn’t been able to stop myself. ‘Oh,’ was all Cherry said and then she went on with her own story about flat hunting which she meant to start doing right away. And I suppose a part of me was glad she was leaving too as it felt as though we had something in common after all. I stayed out till dusk. It was quite nice. A dim and shadowy look to everything. I’ve always found twilight appealing. When I came in all the housemates were in the kitchen and I played my finest part that night.

I perfected the art of appearance, saying to myself if you want to be really hidden take a lesson from the stars in the sky. Twinkle! You yourself won’t be where the twinkle is, that’s the beauty. You’ll be a trillion light-years away. Stars were my role model. I loved them and believed an outward show was the perfect way of vanishing. That night I exemplified the secret name I had for myself – the social ghost. Did the old ghost proud, not only with the constant smiling through which I played the part of some unrealistically good guy, but also joining in with the empty chatter they loved to accost me with. Or anybody. And I suppose it wasn’t that they were accosting.

168