Trafika Europe 9/10 - UK in Europe

Adam Thorpe

England’s

navel.

Ever

The Wash is the small of the back, so where she was brought up for eighteen years was the tail bone. The rails are uneven or maybe the bolts have not been inspected regularly enough so he has problems keeping his hand steady, but he does it well. It looks better like that – a bit shaky, early Hockney or Emin or whatever. The Yorkshire Moors are the shoulder but there are no arms. That reminds her of the life class, second year, when the bloke with the amputated leg posed and no one, but no one, said anything – they just drew light and shade and felt virtuous because they didn’t comment and Suzie had felt a bit sick as she drew the stump, its puckered and glossy skin. Bike accident on the bypass, apparently. Pedal

noticed? On a map?’ The thing is, you can never really tell. Like you can never really tell what they are up to in politics or what might be going on agriculturally with those acres and acres of snowy fields fringed by trees that are now passing them slowly in the January greyness outside. Jasper won’t give up. He never does. He’s way too cool to carry around a sketchpad, right? So he is drawing on a bare patch of the Observer , where an advert for AT&T has left a lot of square inches blank to draw your attention. Deft with a pen, is our Jasper. She snuggles up to him as his map of England turns into a person with a big East Anglian lard-arse bum and a love handle above the Bristol Channel.

30