Eternal India Encyclopedia

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Eternal India encyclopedia

(righteous rules of conduct), Artha (wealth and prosperity) and Kama (desire) At the time of marriage, the brides father addresses the bride- groom with the following words- Dharme chaarthe cha kaame naathi charitavya tvayeyam You shall not transgress her in the' attainment of Dharma, Artha and Kama. The bridegroom accepts the condition with these words: Naaticharaami I shall not transgress her in the matters of Dharma, Artha and Kama. The most important rite by which an orthodox Hindu marriage becomes final and unalterable is Saptapadi rite (rite of seven steps). In this rite, the bridegroom and the bride take seven steps commencing from the western point, from her right foot, on seven small heaps of rice placed to the north of the sacred fire. It is after the seventh step that the bride gets transformed into a wife and the bridegroom becomes a husband. Svagothrad bhrashyate naaree vivaahaat saptame pade On taking the seventh step a woman ceases to belong to her Gothra (family) of birth and acquires the Gothra of her husband. Each religious community has its own rules regulating the se- lection of marriage partners. This applies to Hindus as well as Sikhs, Jains, Christians and Indian Muslims. There are defined en- dogamous groups from which brides must be found and exogamous groups in which marriages are discouraged. It is observed that rules of endogamy and exogamy governing groups (castes) do not imply opposition to each other. Many continue to support the traditional marriage of people within caste and sub-caste milieu and also retain clan differences. In defining groups, the prohibition not only covers specific jaathis or sub-castes but also places and areas. In northern India one’s own village is considered exogamous and North Indians marry in villages 10 to 15 miles away. But in south India one's own village is not considered exogamous and young men prefer to marry girls in their own village. The patrilineal joint family is an important exogamous unit among Hindus in the north. In the south, marriages between certain categories of existing relatives are permitted. Among the Tamil Brahmins a girl is allowed to marry a younger brother of her mother and among most south Indian castes the marriage of a boy with his mother's brother's daughter or father's sister's daughter is allowed. But a boy would not be allowed to marry his mother's sister's daughter. Such a marriage would be considered incestous. Marriages between relatives in the South has created marriage prospects for girls who are not good looking. A girl's mother's brother or father's sister would be under a positive obligation to see that she was married to his or her own son. In north India there is ban on marriages between blood rela- tives. The South Indian practice of marriage between cross cousine or uncles and nieces are regarded as incestus. This, together with the ban on marriages within the village, means that the girl goes to live among people with whom she is unfamiliar and also goes to live

in a completely new place. In the south where marriage often is a means of reinforcing an already existing relationship, the girl is not suddenly placed in an entirely new and unfamiliar environment. It is by no means easy to keep a joint family as a going concern. Everyone must be treated equally to avoid charges of favouritism. If a man buys something for his wife or child, the others have a share in it. All must contribute to the household purse. The joint family requires a single, strong authority whose decisions are accepted and followed. There are myriad sources of stress. Conflicts may develop between older and younger men as well as between wives of brothers. Disproportionate contributions to the common purse can lead to friction. Family members may fail to agree over spending priorities. The Nairs of Kerala have the matrilineal joint family called the tarwad which consists of a woman and her male and female de- scendants — sons and daughters and the children of her daughters. Relations by marriage find no room in it while certain blood rela- tions — the children of the sons — are excluded and belong to the tarwad of their wives. The property of the tarwad is jointly owned by all its male and female members. The tarwad's property is managed by the eldest male member of the family who is known as a kamavan. If the eldest male member is unable to act as karnavan due to ill health, the next senior male acts as karnavan. Partition of the joint family property may take place with the consent of all the members but if any member opposes the partition then the tarwad continues to be joint. When a tarwad becomes overcrowded it often splits into smaller family units called tavazhis. Certain tensions and conflicts which are inevitable in the partri- archal household are unknown in the tarwad where the woman remains in her parental home and rarely meets her mother-in-law and husband's sister. Under the matrilineal system a man become a 'visiting husband' and was a stranger to his own children. He was very close to the children of his sisters. Under the pressures generated by modern employment pat- terns, the tarwad of the Nairs is in the process of breaking down. Matriliany is disappearing in the urban areas and exists only in the rural areas of the Malabar districts of Kerala. The matrilineal Nayars and patrilineal Nambudiris Brahmins of Kerala were involved in a peculiar custom which is also disappear- ing. The Nambudiri family is a patriarchal joint family. The eldest son alone has the right to marry a girl from his caste. The younger sons form alliances with Nair women who belong to matrilineal households. These alliances were formerly not recognised as marriages. As only one man, the eldest son, in each family could marry the vast majority of Nambudiri girls remained unmarried. If a man wanted to arrange the marriage of his sister he had to agree to marry a daughter of the house into which she was being given as a bride. Thus the eldest son often had more than one wife. As a consequence of this custom which lead to the majority of Nambudiri women remaining unmarried, the Nambudiri community became the only one in the whole of India to show a decrease in population. The Madras Nambudiri Act of 1933 permitted all the sons of a Nam- budiri joint family to marry women of their own caste.

SELECTED REFERENCES * S.N. Chopra, India : An Area Study . New Delhi 1971, The Cultural Heritage of India, Vol II, Ramakrishna Mission Calcutta 1969.