Athenry News & Views Spring 2026

Athenry News & Views

Wakes, Grief and Community: Traditions of Care and Remembrance

By: Brid Higgins

Having experienced personal loss within my family in recent years, I have been deeply struck by how supportive family, neighbours and the wider community can be at a time of bereavement. People gather instinctively, offering both practical and emotional support. From the moment news of a death is shared, a network of care surrounds the bereaved, carrying them gently through each stage of loss and the difficult weeks that follow. At such times, family bonds reveal their strength. Distant relatives — some known personally and others known only by name — come to pay their respects at the wake and funeral because of connections forged long ago. They come not only to honour the deceased but also to acknowledge ties between families across generations. One of the most meaningful expressions of this support is the wake held in the home of the deceased. This gathering is more than tradition; it is an act of remembrance. It allows family, friends, neighbours and acquaintances to share stories, offer comfort and celebrate the life lived within those walls. It forms part of the final farewell — sending a loved one on their journey to be reunited with those who have gone before. The custom of waking the dead is deeply rooted in Irish culture and stretches back centuries. When we lay our loved ones to rest in the local cemetery, we are reminded that our ancestors lie close by. This naturally invites questions: How did they mourn? How did they honour their dead? What rituals shaped their final farewells? These reflections brought me back to an article I wrote thirty years ago, “Wakes and Associated Customs of Our Ancestors,” published in the family history magazine Clanna na Gaillimhe (Vol. IV, 1996). Revisiting that work now — after witnessing many wakes first-hand — has given me a deeper and more personal

understanding of the traditions I once explored. My original research focused on oral histories from the National Folklore Collection. I return to those accounts with renewed perspective to examine how our ancestors honoured the passing of their loved ones. The Wake in Earlier Times Traditionally, when a person died, he or she remained in the family home until burial. The kitchen — the heart of the household — became the setting for the farewell. The first account comes from my maternal grand-aunt, Celia King (1883–1957), who described a wake for Delia Boyle of Carrowbrowne, Castlegar, Galway who was most likely a relative. Her interview, collected in the School’s Collection in 1937, recounts what her father told her, describing how the deceased was laid out and dates to 1850s approximately. She began by describing how the deceased was laid out: The deceased was laid out on a long, low table raised on six chairs beside one wall of the kitchen. Ropes were tied to the rafters overhead and sheets hung on three sides to form curtains, with another sheet overhead forming a ceiling. The deceased could be viewed only from one side. Those kneeling could not see the body, as it was raised about five feet from the floor. (This wake took place about twenty seven years ago — circa 1910.) Once the deceased was laid out, neighbours and relatives gathered to pray, offer sympathy and remain with the family through the night. Hospitality was expected. Clay pipes filled with tobacco, loose tobacco for chewing, and snuff were placed nearby. Even non smokers were expected to take a token puff, as refusal might be considered disrespectful. Storytelling, singing, music, card playing and lively games were common. These activities helped keep mourners awake and eased the heaviness of grief. Games and Night-long Vigil

Celia also described games played at wakes around 1910: Up to about thirty years ago, games were played at wakes in this parish. They were generally played at the wakes of fairly old people. The young men present took part. They began at midnight and continued until morning. One game, Hurra-harrao, involved young men seated in a circle passing a knotted súgan rope beneath their knees while trying to strike the man in the centre, who attempted to catch it. Whoever was caught holding the rope took his place. Another game involved pairs of men holding hands in a line while a third jumped over each pair in turn. A further contest tested strength: two men clasped right hands and attempted to force the other’s hand downward without using the left. Beliefs and Rituals Our ancestors held strong beliefs surrounding death. The number three appears repeatedly in funeral customs: three women preparing the body, three men carrying out tasks, and three pauses on the journey to the graveyard. Clocks were stopped at the moment of death and not restarted until the body left the house. Windows were opened to allow the soul to depart. Alongside conversation and games was the practice of keening (caoineadh) — a ritual lament in which family members wept aloud around the deceased. Keening resumed whenever new mourners arrived. Women, in particular, carried this tradition. Other customs governed burial. Graves were seldom dug on a Monday unless the first sod had been cut the previous day, and rain during a burial was seen as a sign of joy for the soul of the departed. These gatherings created a space

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