ASSOCIATE Magazine FBINAA Q3-2024

A MESSAGE FROM OUR CHAPLAIN

Mike Hardee

A Lesson Learned

I n today’s world of law enforcement our existence is micro managed from the time we put on the uniform to the moment we take it off. Social media, video camera phones, and the news outlets are watching our every move to make sure they capture our wrongdoing. We are flooded with the constant onslaught of negativity, threats, bad press, and uncertainty about the future of policing. We do make mistakes sometimes and when we do, they can be catastrophic and require imminent review and corrective action and we are forced to change how we were doing our job before. We are all familiar with the new policies and procedures caused by the errors we make, but accepting change and learning from our mistakes often comes with a degree of resentment and push back--we don’t like change much and moving our cheese brings about considerable stress. Are there limits to what we can endure by the ever-changing culture in our leadership? And how can we adapt to the constant threats to our career? When I was a rookie Lieutenant, one of my supervisors--we will call him Captain W–decided he would make it his mission in life to torment me, or so it seemed at the time, until I could not take it any longer and either stay quiet or ask for a transfer. In the beginning I just thought his harsh method of supervising was his way of training me to be tough and unforgiving. He was relentless in his attacks on me, and my family. Nothing was off limits including my marriage, my children, and my parents. In those days I worked day and night for weeks at a time without a day off and without notification that I would be away from home. There was not a 160-hour within a 28-day cycle work week to help regulate when we could not work. His way of training was to embarrass, humiliate, degrade, and publicly challenge my knowledge on all aspects of the job, constantly testing me to the point of exhaustion. There were moments when I felt like I could not take the abuse anymore, and that he would not stop the personal attacks. This was a horrible experience, and it was taking a toll on me physically and mentally. I did not think I could continue with the constant personal attacks. I had nowhere else to turn but prayer. I began asking God to intervene and help me out and I found the strength I needed to continue. When I finally did get up the courage to ask him why he was treating me so badly and causing me so much stress, he said that he was trying to make a supervisor out of me and not a failure. As a result of what he said, I began to also harden as a leader, thinking that’s the way I should be. One day, I realized I didn’t like who I was becoming--I was mirroring how I was being treated as a young supervisor. It felt wrong, but he was expecting it of me. It wasn’t until I transferred to another command that I was able to break free of his negative influence on me. I finally got the opportunity during my exit interview to let him know how “effective” he was in his methods of leadership.

I explained to him that the most important thing he ever taught me was how not to treat people, how not to supervise, and how not to care about others. He was surprised, disappointed, and a little shocked that I would say this to him. I was finally able to tell him that this was not a waste of time, nor would the lessons I had learned be lost and I would make it my business to never treat those I work with or for like I was treated. I had in-fact learned a great deal from Capt. W, and these lessons would remain with me my entire career. They just weren’t the lessons he thought he was conveying. I believe it was God’s way of showing me how difficult times could be so that I would learn to care for others in a way of leadership, friendship and understanding. As we can learn to accept each other’s differences, so too can we learn to accept change that pushes us out of our comfort zone. I believe this was God’s plan for me all along, to learn to accept responsibility and change, to be patient with others and to forgive those who have offended me. Many years passed after I left and one day I received a call from Capt. W. asking if he could come and meet with me. He was traveling through town and just wanted to say hi and see how I was doing. I agreed and we met at my office on the third floor of the State Attorney’s Office in Green Cove Springs, Florida. As he walked in, I noticed he was looking all around, taking notice of his surroundings before reaching out to shake my hand. We greeted each other and he sat down and began small talk about our jobs. Finally, after some time he stood up and looked me straight in the eye and said how proud of me he was and that he always knew that I would “do good.” After all this time he still wanted credit for our time together. I asked him to sit back down and that I wanted to tell him something. He complied. For the next few minutes, he sat there and listened to me as I went into detail of the pain and suffering he had caused me during those five years. He never attempted to contradict or dispute my recollection of events that had haunted me since I left. For the first time I was able to tell him that I forgave him and that I wanted him to know that as bad as our experiences were

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30 FBINAA.ORG | Q3 2024