2017 National Coming Out Day Book - Final v2

I

am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a wife… and I am a lesbian. There, I finally said it… the dreaded “L” word. My partner (now wife) and I have been together 29 years (legally married for almost 3 years) and I can count on one hand the number of times I have uttered that word (and even fewer times at work). I started as a production supervisor in a time when there weren’t very many women in production. I was too afraid to let anyone know about my personal life. What if “they” didn’t accept me? What if “they” didn’t like me anymore? What if “they” won’t want to work with me? I found it easier to not talk about my personal life. So much so, that I just kept not talking about it for the last 21 years. It wasn’t until several years ago, when my partner’s father became very ill and I needed to take a few days off to support her, that I even considered telling my then boss. So, I mustered up the courage to ask for a few days off to be with my partner and her dad. As I fumbled for the right words and finally said “my partner,” my boss looked at me with a very comforting expression and said, “You do realize you are the only one who doesn’t know you are a lesbian?” Well, I was shocked and amazed at the same time. How could everyone know? I had never said anything at work. I had always been very careful not to say “she” or “her” and, God forbid, call her by name. What I have come to realize is “they” didn’t have the problem... I did. I have spent so much time and effort making sure I used the right pronoun or just said “we” and glazed over any specifics that I have not been my authentic self. I have also done a disservice to the most important person in my life. I was

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