Ulster Rugby vs Newport Dragons

THANK YOU ALAN McCALDIN Tonight’s game marks the end of Alan McCaldin’s role as physiotherapist to the senior squad.

He is a real team player. It has been my good fortune to have worked alongside Alan, despite the fact he is a Liverpool fan! I know? If ever there is an example of equal opportunity in the workplace. Enough of the serious stuff… Dan (Tuohy) reckons he is the person he would most like to be stuck in a lift with because his story telling is legendary. His many tales from school, rugby, Greenmount and farming often hold court in the treatment room. Without doubt his finest tale involves a groin injury, a healer from Rathfriland and three sisters in America who couldn’t get pregnant. You’ll need a seat; it takes a while – actions included. His audience invariably end up in stitches of laughter even if they have heard it all before. Just so you know his groin healed and the three sisters fell pregnant. Totally unrelated we are told. There are a couple of glaring regrets with Alan. The less obvious one involves the morning after the Heineken Cup Final and the fact we didn’t get to see him in a pair of salmon pink chinos – he found his own denims eventually. But the daily regret will be that he didn’t compete in Radio 2’s popmaster. This is his thing each day. Whoever was being treated had no choice. They were listening to Ken Bruce at 10.30am. Let me tell you his knowledge of music is good. He consistently does well and loves nothing better than pulling a random 1970’s artist out of nowhere as a correct answer. In addition to his knowledge he does fancy himself as a bit of a singer. Without warning he will break into a song but often it does come with the warning. Famously he once busked in Limerick - just ask Chris Henry. He found him, parked in the back row of a group of singers, eyes closed giving it loads. It seems only Chris noticed and Alan moved on before he was asked to. It’s been muted that we may well retire Radio 2 and popmaster now that he has gone. Alan’s finest comedic moment was observed by only a few in Monza the morning of a European Cup game in 2012. The staff were watching the team go through some final preparations in the hotel carpark. While he was attempting to balance on the edge of a kerb Alan lost his footing. The stumble forward became a run which lead to a forward roll which ended in Alan bouncing to his feet. It looked rehearsed to perfection. Technique and timing were perfect. The move was more akin

After eight years with Ulster Rugby he has decided its time to try ventures new including some ventures old! I would like to take this opportunity to thank, pay tribute to and remenise about the quiet unassuming former dairy farmer turned physiotherapist from Dromore, but instead I’m going to tell you about Alan… To be honest, he is rarely referred to as Alan amongst us. He is more commonly known as either ‘The Bandit’ or ‘The Fridge’. Having hoodwinked the handicap committee at camp, he won the annual Ulster Open and the coveted ‘Purple Jacket’ on his first attempt. Hence, the name, ‘Bandit’. He also holds the record of holding the purple jacket for the shortest period of time – he managed to lose it in the subsequent court session that evening! ‘The Fridge’ was bestowed upon him as apparently his body shape resembles that of a fridge – I suspect a free standing fridge freezer type? Whether it’s Alan, ‘the Bandit’ or ‘the Fridge’, he is without doubt one of the most popular, personable and likeable characters in the squad. He is going to be sorely missed by all of us here at Ulster Rugby. Before I share a few tales with you, it is important to say that as a clinician Alan is hugely talented, experienced and a respected physiotherapist. He has been a huge asset to the medical department and our players alike. Having worked alongside him and observed him for the last eight years I know how he values the players, has their safety and interest at heart for the good of the player and the team. His recent concern over Alan O’Connor’s chest hair and a shoulder strapping may have taken his duty of care too far and it’s best he explains?! Over the last few years he has developed his interest and skill set around the area of rehabilitation. There are numerous examples of players who have worked with him closely as they neared return to play. Equally he has identified and addressed areas of risk in competing players, to their benefit. Alan’s hip, groin and yoga classes along with his choice of attire have become the stuff of folk lore – turning up wearing Marshy’s t-shirt from four seasons ago which is far too tight and his retro Kukri gym shorts which he just won’t part with, clearly! As a colleague he is trustworthy and loyal.

GOODBYE AND GOOD LUCK

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