Funny Kid Slapstick Chapter Sampler

‘You’re telling me!’ Pip says, standing up and

Don’t pick me! Pick your nose.

stretching.

‘What’s a period?’ Hugo asks. Abby again: ‘It’s like the first half, only the game isn’t in halves. It’s in thirds, so they call the thirds periods.’ Now as far as I’m aware, Abby has never played one minute of sport in her life. In fact, she’s a master of getting out of it at school – doctor’s certificates for medical conditions no one can pronounce, notes from her mother about how her sweet daughter donated her sports uniform to charity without her knowledge, appointments with all sorts of different tutors. Once she even made an incredibly realistic cast for her arm out of papier-mâché! So how come Abby’s the one who knows the rules? Apparently she sees me screwing up my face. ‘What, Max?’ She rolls her eyes.

The buzzer goes and all the players skate off the ice. Team toilet break? ‘What does the buzzer mean?’ I ask no one in particular. Abby Purcell is no one in particular.

IT’S THE END OF THE FIRST PERIOD.

OH, WHAT A RELIEF.

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