Funny Kid Slapstick Chapter Sampler

‘Go, Max. Go!’ Pip calls out. I shake my head at the mayor. Sorry, mister,

the known universe. If I could build a house at No. 1, Centre of Attention Avenue, I would do it and put on the best Christmas lights display of all time. But there is one exception and it’s this: sport. It’s important to recognise where your strengths are, and let’s just say my strength is not a strength. Neither is speed. Or coordination. So actually walking out onto the ice in front of the whole crowd is the last thing I feel like doing.

no can do.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Abby staring at me. Clearly she can tell that I don’t want to walk out on the ice, and if she were a supportive, encouraging friend, this would be a great moment for her to volunteer to take my place. She’s not though, is she? Instead she starts a chant. ‘Max! Max! Max!’ she yells, because Abby’s purpose in life is to annoy me. Unfortunately, like an infectious disease, the chant quickly spreads and suddenly the whole ice rink is yelling my name. Parents warn you against peer pressure. They tell you that you always have a choice. Clearly they don’t remember being a kid.

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