Funny Kid Slapstick Chapter Sampler

And … I swing! It all happens in slow motion (which is what would happen if this were a movie). The stick comes down and I feel it hit the puck, which is half the battle really. This would have been awfully embarrassing if I’d missed it altogether. The puck goes flying forward.

I feel myself twirl like a ballerina. My shoe twists on the ice. My bottom swings around like a discus. I see the crowd. I see the roof. I see the ice. I see my feet. I see the –

OOF!

The stick is quite heavy and it keeps swinging. I hold on to it tightly so that it doesn’t go flying towards the goal as well, but the momentum starts to spin me around. This would normally be fine if I was standing on the ground. But I’m not, am I?

So this is what it must feel like to kiss a seal.

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