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JayMerill
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gave me this news I just
couldn’t help blurting
out that I’d be leaving
shortly too. It was against
my better judgement as I
didn’t want anyone in my
house to know I was going
beforehand but I hadn’t
been able to stop myself.
‘Oh,’ was all Cherry said
and then she went on
with her own story about
flat hunting which she
meant to start doing right
away. And I suppose a part
of me was glad she was
leaving too as it felt as
though we had something
in common after all.
I stayed out till dusk. It
was quite nice. A dim
and shadowy look to
everything. I’ve always
found twilight appealing.
When I came in all the
housemates were in the
kitchen and I played my
finest part that night.
I perfected the art of
appearance, saying to
myself if you want to
be really hidden take
a lesson from the stars
in the sky. Twinkle! You
yourself won’t be where
the twinkle is, that’s the
beauty. You’ll be a trillion
light-years away. Stars
were my role model. I
loved them and believed
an outward show was the
perfect way of vanishing.
That night I exemplified
the secret name I had
for myself –
the social
ghost.
Did the old ghost
proud, not only with the
constant smiling through
which I played the part
of some unrealistically
good guy, but also joining
in with the empty chatter
they loved to accost me
with. Or anybody. And
I suppose it wasn’t that
they
were
accosting.