News of Princess Diana’s untimely death shocked the world.
But perhaps what shocked some of us even more was the outpouring
of public grief that followed. Brits, famous for their ‘stiff upper
lip’ mentality, suddenly huddled together in streets, openly crying,
visibly upset. What was going on?
Artist/performer Ellie Harrison explores the theme perfectly
through her performance ‘Etiquette of Grief’ (shown at the Bradford
University’s Theatre in the Mill). The one-woman show is part of a
series, looking at the seven stages of grief.
I arrived at the performance slightly unconvinced by the title of the
production, concerned it was going to be terribly morose.
What I encountered was a highly amusing, thoughtful and insightful
performance.Ellie set herself up at a podium, as someone in
mourning - mourning the loss of Princess Diana.
The audience was very much involved in the show - something I
would usually balk at.
But as the production progressed it became apparent that the
audience reaction was an important aspect of the show. To start
with the mood in the theatre was jocular with Ellie reaching out
to members of the audience for a hug to support her in her grief.
The response was warm and friendly - the cuddle easily won.
Content with the response, Ellie then cleverly used a ‘live’ feed
from a grief counsellor (played by herself) to talk her through
coping strategies for dealing with the loss of a loved one. The result
was often hilarious. On giving advice on how to handle sharing the
news of a loss with friends and family she happily advised; “Do not
refer to your loved one as dead, it’s too blunt. Instead use phrases
like ‘late’ ‘passed away’ ‘no longer with us’.”
“People may want to give you a hug - always make sure to carry
mints and deodorant.” “If you are giving away your loved one’s
clothes to charity - don’t take it to your local shop. You don’t want
to see a display of their clothing in the local shop window.”
The entire performance was very tongue-in-cheek and the audience
couldn’t help but giggle furiously at the absurdity of it all. This
was, after all, about public grief - it was about all those who gather
together in crowds openly weeping and crying to mourn the loss of
some powerful public figure.
But underneath the hilarity there was something
else, a darker, more uncomfortable emotion creeping
in which was the genius in Ellie’s work. For as we
laughed and giggled at the grief counsellor’s glib
advice on how to deal with loss, she gradually
began to unravel before our eyes, overdosing on a
powerful cocktail of alcohol and drugs. She left
behind a suicide note detailing her motives which
left Ellie (in character) truly upset.
Once again Ellie reached out to her audience in
search of a cuddle.
But this time the grief felt a lot more personal and
with the more sombre mood came reluctance, the
cuddle not so easily won.
I can’t have been the only person to feel it -it
literally coiled inside of me - personal grief felt so
much more uncomfortable than public grief and yet
which would realistically require more support? It
was then that the absurdity of the counsellor’s glib
advice really hit home – her dos and don’ts really
were the do’s and don’ts expected of someone who
is grieviGrief is a difficult emotion and perhaps the
most overwhelming
aspect of it is the fact that it is a pain that cannot
realistically be shared - even with our closest relatives. It feels
lonely, frightening and incredibly powerful. In times of personal
grief we can’t just break down in the middle of a street, wailing
and crying, waving candles and holding vigils. We don’t throw our
arms round strangers and gather together in crowds. Instead we
suffer, usually in silence - not because of our strength but because
our grief is distinctly too uncomfortable for others to bear.
Etiquette of Grief is supported by Arts Council England, University
of Leeds through Incubator, Theatre in the Mill and Leeds Met
Gallery & Studio Theatre.
For those who missed the Bradford show, Ellie will be performing at
Harrogate Theatre on April 27. This is a show that will stay with you
long after the curtains close. My advice? Go and see for yourself -
you won’t be disappointed.
Etiquette of Grief – Harrogate Theatre, April 27.
INFO & TICKETS :
WRITTEN BY ANDREA HARDAKER
PHOTOGRAPHY BY ALAN CARMICHEAL
On the
17th March
Kala Sangam
South Asian Arts Centre are celebrating
their re-launch with a bumper day of free
workshops. The organization, based in the
historic St Peters House, Forster Square
is now an accredited ‘National Asian
Arts Centre’ and has recently completed a
significant extension which incorporates
new space for performances, rehearsals,
conferences, film screenings, arts
workshops, exhibitions, and educational
activities.
Entry is free and the public will be able
to take part in all kinds of activities,
including belly dancing, face painting,
storytelling and salsa. Helen Robinson
said, “The launch is our most significant
event for years. It is not only a special
event for us, it signals the opening up
of a huge new space for the whole of the
Bradford artistic community to use.”
The event runs from 10am to 4pm with
@ Bradford’s Theatre in the Mill.
