Torch - Fall/Winter 2018-19

Message from School Leaders

An Attitude of Gratitude A Habit of Appreciation Slows Us Down, Connects Us to Others and Boosts Our Own Wellness

By Michael Simmonds and Kate White

anchored. Add to that our mission to prepare young women to make a difference and it becomes clear that planting the seed of gratitude helps each girl grow into her own purpose and passion. In order for that seed to take root rather than blow away on the winds of haste, our girls need practice in slowing down. We asked School Chaplain the Rev. Stephanie Douglas about the speed at which we all tend to move today, which feels supersonic at times. Her take was enlightening. “Gratitude is a spiritual discipline that roots us in the present,” she says. “Sometimes we don’t appreciate things until they have passed. We lack perspective. Daily gratitude is the antidote to that, like a corrective lens. It asks us to live in the present moment and appreciate it for what it is. It partly does that by slowing us down, so we don’t race past the goodness around us or even within us. How can we feel joy when we’re mentally on the run from one thought, event or demand to another? We really can’t.” Not only do we feel more joy in our lives when we slow down and appreciate the moment, but we also improve our health and well-being. Research tells us that small acts of gratitude, practised day to day, increase both the quality and quantity of our lives. We live better and we live longer. Since school is about more than grades, we believe in teaching gratitude as a path to social and emotional wellness. Professor Robert Emmons of the University of California, Davis studies the nature of gratitude and its impact on health and wellness. According to his findings, those who practise gratitude: • experience higher levels of joy, enthusiasm, love and happiness; • are protected from the destructive impulses of envy, resentment and greed; • cope more effectively with everyday stress and have greater physical health; • have improved relationships and feel more giving toward others; • refuse to live as victims or blame others when life is tough; and • have greater work productivity and career success. In short, “Gratitude is literally one of the few things that can measurably change people’s lives,” Emmons says. Studies show that expressions of gratitude have the power to increase life happiness in a way that career success or money demonstrably do not. So while gratitude can sometimes seem intangible—is it a feeling, an act or a state of being?—the changes it produces are actually measurable. That’s why we value a culture of gratitude and teach it both directly and indirectly.

Kate White, Head of Junior School, and Michael Simmonds, Vice Principal School Life and Student Wellness

H ave you ever felt gratitude for the sun? Or for this blue planet we all inhabit? Perhaps galactic gratitude feels a bit sweeping or grand. But, if you think about it, we’ve been pretty lucky. Quite a few cosmic events had to occur over the past couple of billion years to get us here. And if it’s hard to keep all that science in our heads, every sunrise and sunset reminds us of the wonder of our celestial home. We may not begin every day at Havergal with giving thanks to the sun, but we do place a premium on the role gratitude plays in our individual and community wellness. No matter their age or stage, we work as a full school to help our students build their gratitude muscles. It’s our responsibility as a school to help our girls understand the positive role that thankfulness, appreciation and gratitude play in all our lives. So where do we start? With the basics. At the heart of gratitude lies an awareness of self in relation to others. Gratitude does not exist in a vacuum. Acts of personal reflection help our students to know themselves well and see their role in the larger (perhaps not quite cosmic) world. With a genuine feeling of appreciation for who they are and what they have, they can reach out to others with compassion and take action that matters. After all, compassion is one of our enduring values in which gratitude is

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