Torch - Fall/Winter 2018-19

Message from School Leaders

But gratitude isn’t just for the good times when we feel most connected to ourselves and others. We asked Douglas about the moments when we struggle. “Gratitude is a feeling of appreciation and connectedness, yes,” she explains. “But it is also a spiritual call independent of feelings. You don’t have to feel grateful to be grateful. You can acknowledge the blessings in your life, even in tough times. It’s a way of living, a way of being fully human. And feelings often follow action. As we practise gratitude, our feelings change. So, while we may not start out with a feeling of gratitude, we can get there through expressing it. That’s established by the research.” Practising gratitude is like learning the piano: we get better and we feel better as a result. This is why experts view gratitude as an instrument in the health and wellness toolbox, as well as a cure for entitlement. Consider gratitude and entitlement as polar opposite feelings. Because they have so many opportunities, parents often worry that their children might grow into having a sense of being owed everything. That’s why gratitude is woven into the tapestry of everyday life at Havergal. There are the big moments, some of which we have mentioned. There are also the countless small moments: the daily thank yous or the notes girls write to their teachers, counsellors and coaches. We don’t take gratitude for granted here. We practise it both openly and quietly within ourselves. We may not thank the sun for its heat, the Earth for its orbit or the moon for stabilizing our axial spin. But it can only do us good to express our gratitude for each day, person and opportunity within our own small galaxy.

Graduation is a special time when students reflect on their Havergal experiences and look outward at their community. Through their comments read at the Graduation ceremony, Grads express gratitude for the people who have helped them reach this milestone: family members, teachers, coaches, mentors and friends. They appreciate and publicly acknowledge the opportunities the school made possible both inside and outside of the classroom. Prayers is another occasion when gratitude muscles are flexed and stretched. The community comes together, three times a week, in a state of appreciation—for the joy of song and music, for each other and for the opportunities we have to better understand and affirm the school’s values and mission. The girls invariably express their thanks to those who share a message. In the Junior School, messages often focus on character education and what it means to be a member of the Havergal community. We challenge the girls to not only think about what they want to be when they grow up, but also who they want to be. Issues such as empathy, kindness and respect are discussed. Teachers, students and our chaplains give specific examples of what it looks, sounds and feels like when we are living these values, as well as when we do not. The older girls address more complex topics such as anxiousness, perfectionism and identity. Recently, Pride Week was launched during Upper School Prayers and three Grade 12 students presented. Our community listened respectfully, appreciating the courage required of each girl to share her perspective and personal story. Whether in the younger or older grades, our students readily show their gratitude for moments of courage, compassion and connection.

Graduation marks a time of reflection and gratitude for many Grads.

12  HAVERGAL COLLEGE