The Gazette 1975

APR / RRi E - Strobes, Esq., Gnome House, London YVI.

4 Little Essex Street, London WC2. 22 October 1974.

In account with

G O O D M A N D E R R I CK & CO.

Re: Damage to bumper of vehicle reg. no. ARC 001N

September 19th 1974

To professional services in relation to the above matter, viz: listening to your telephone call describing an alleged incident in Tesco Road, Neasden, on October 1st 1961; to making notes on same; to forgetting matter entirely for three weeks; to listening to your further instructions enquiring why the hell had done nothing about the matter; to making feeble excuses during the course of said conversation, to passing whole matter on to articled clerk, viz Michael Tharg; to said M. Tharg writing a professional letter to you requesting further and better particulars of the said matter; to having said letter typed by pro- fessionally ' qualified person, viz Miss Janice Brocklebank Fowler; to folding, sealing, and stamping of letter; to consulting London Telephone Directory to ascertain your full and proper place of abode; to the taking of the aforementioned letter down three flights of stairs, and along street to a proper place of despatch as ordained by the Postmaster General, viz a pillar box; to waiting four days for receipt of your reply; to full and due perusal of the contents thereof, and in particular your suggestion that ourselves had shown 'gross incompetence and idleness" in pursuing this matter, and in noting your instruction to us all severally and collectively to take a running jump into a duly specified place, viz one lake. We herewith take pleasure in rendering our full and final account in the sum of P.S. Further to the above, we beg to render the following additional account in respect of this matter, viz to typing of above bill, to perusal of same, to correction of typing errors with Rubinstein's Patent Eraser, to licking of stamp on envelope, and to rubbing of hands at the thought of enormous cheque in the post. P.P.S. We beg to inform you that owing to the incidence of inflation since we began the compilation of the above bill, the total liability now amounts to N.B. We further beg to inform you that failure to render settlement in full within 24 hours will result in our placing the matter in the hands of our legal advisers, Messrs. Goodman, Derrick & Co.

disbursements

Charges and

£8,984.68 + V.A.T. £726.42

September 20th 1974

£461.34

fin O c t ober 20th 1974

£25,468.00

"MONEY IS OUR BUSINESS" A bill of the type to which it is believed Lord Goodman strongly objects.

67