The Last Kids on Earth: Thrilling Tales from the Treehouse - extract

. . . And tree house adjacent!

Monster pizza party at Joe’s! LOOK OUT!

Why are anchovies so unpopular? They are salty and delicious.

With illustrations by DOUGLAS HOLGATE, Lorena Alva rez Gómez , Xav i er Bonet , Jay Cooper, Chr i s topher Mit ten , and Anoosha Syed Written by

Veggie pies and sarsaparilla! BRING IT!

Sarsparilla!!

The problem with anchovies, Quint, is that they over - power pretty much everything.

First published in the United States of America by Viking, An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 2021

This edition published in 2021 by Farshore

An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street, London SE1 9GF

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Text copyright © 2021 Max Brallier Illustrations pages i–5, 28–29, 52–55, 78–81, 104–105, 128–192, 199 copyright © 2021 by Douglas Holgate. All other illustrations, unless otherwise marked, copyright © 2021 by Penguin Random House LLC

The moral rights of the author and illustrators have been asserted.

ISBN 978 0 0084 8587 0 Printed in the UK by Bell & Bain 1

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library

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look upon my ambient mood lighting and despair.

For Alyse. —M. B.

To the Grundy Outlaws: Angus, Syd, Noah, Jak, Jake, Flynn, and Hamish. Do it for Silverwings. Do it for Phil, and do it for the gang! —D. H.

DANGER ON THE DIAMOND . . . . . . . . . . . . 6

A GAGGLE OF GLOBLETS . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

THE PERNICIOUS PUTTY PREDICAMENT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE SAVAGE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82

KETTLE TO THE MEDAL . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106

THE EPIC TALE OF EPIC STUFF YOU NEVER SAW HAPPEN (BUT SHOULD PROBABLY KNOW ABOUT!) . . . . . . . . . . 136

Ain’t no party like a midnight party ’cause a midnight party happens LATE.

Midnight parties are the best parties!

Delicious marshmallow pies coming out of the Easy-Bake!

String lights on full blast!

I am ready to slice them!

All eleven speakers at maximum volume! Party music is going!

Board games are ready to go!

Wait. Did you guys hear that?

CRASH! SMASH!

GRAWWR!

Does anyone see it?

I really wish we had curtains.

Uh, yup. And it sees us.

Hey, I offered to sew curtains! But Jack said curtains are for old people!

No. I said curtains remind me of old people.

1

This is bad. It appears we are trapped.

No, we are not trapped. Because I am BRAVE. I will fight the beast. Alone.

Nope. Sorry, Skaelka. Can’t let you have all the glory. I’m gonna pummel this dude Savage-style. As in— no help needed.

No way! I called facing the beast alone first . . .

This is rash, but I AM eager to test out my new Monster-B-Gone cannon.

ON MY OWN! LIKE A WORTHY SOLO HERO DUDE!

So . . . I will face the monster!

Then whoever is most WORTHY shall battle the monster. And that is me! My axe has felled many beasts!

Guys . . . HELLO! We can’t ALL battle the monster solo. The whole point of solo is that it’s done—y’know— solo.

You don’t want to know the things I’ve done.

I battled a hundred zombies during the Battle of the Hundred Zombies!

My Slicer destroyed Blarg!

My zapping gadget thwarted that fur creature!

I’ve spilled more neon slime than Nickelodeon Studios!

Blasty helped me take down a whole family of Ploonks!

3

This is gonna be tough . . .

Yeah, we all have awesome monster and zombie battling stories . . .

That’s it! STORIES! A story-off. Whoever’s story proves them MOST WORTHY wins! And gets to—y’know—battle the big monster. El solo style.

That’s just dumb.

OK, fine . . . only so we can get this over with.

Eek!

LET GO OF DIRK, you multiple-fisted meanie!

4

Not too many minutes later . . .

Let’s make it quick. Don’t know how long the tree house can hold out.

Not I. Skaelka will wait to hear your subpar tales—then demolish them with my own!

So, who’s going first?

Why don’t we get the best story

out of the way now—that way, you guys’ll know what you’re up against. So, batter up . . .

That means I’m going first. Just in case it wasn’t clear. Was it clear? It was clear, right?

Yes, Jack, it was clear.

5