Danny Best: Me First!

G O G G L E E A R T H V I E W

O F Z I G Z A G S T R E E T

STARRING Danny Best!

Including starstruck SUPPORTING CAST:

Fabrizio (Fab) Delotti, age 9

Sticks Penny, age 8

Clancy Hutt, age 9

Dylan Jones, age 9

Pugsley

Mae Sing, age 8

Lame-o EXTRAS

Stanley the Spoodle

And featuring special gue st star, OLD YELLOW EYE

BEST QUOTES

D a n n y B e s t put a g h e r k i n u p h i s n o s e . O L I V I A , A G E 7

D a n n y B e s t c annot s ur f ba ck w ar d . S I M O N , A G E 1 0

D a n n y B e s t h a s a t a t t o o . U n d e r h i s h a i r . D O U G L A S , A G E 8

D a n n y B e s t c a n w r i t e w i t h b o t h h a n d s . S E N , A G E 8

D a n n y B es t be t te r n o t c o m e n e a r m e .

B E L L A , A G E 1 6 N E X T Y E A R

D a n n y B e s t h a s ‘ F a m o u s ’ s t a m p e d o n h i s b irt h c e r t i : c a t e . A N O N Y M O U S , A G E 8 ¾

ONE Tongue- Tied

Warning: The following

story will give you one of the BEST ideas for annoying your sister. If you do not have a sister, I am sure there is someone else in your life who needs to be EXTREMELY annoyed by you. It is your job to be annoying. It’s in your blood. Behold, the Great and Famous Annoyers of the World. I am proud of you all.

FREE personal instructions from DANNY BEST . You don’t even have to pay.

This story was designed by me. That is why it is special. It has a special bonus effect that I know you will agree is special. The special bonus effect is like a buried code and I will now crack the first part for you.

4

Here it is — you have to read this story

OUT LOUD .

Yes. That is the whole truth. That is the first part of the Special Bonus Effect hidden in these ordinary words. Read this story out loud. Or, to be more exactly correct, read the speaking parts of Mr Danny Best out loud.

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It is the only way you will understand what a fully qualified genius I really am and how my ideas are the Best Ideas in the universe. So, loosen up your speaking muscles. Say

red leather, yellow leather

out loud ten times really fast. Then start reading. You will find out the second bonus effect in a little while. Once the story gets going.

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It’s Saturday morning. I am at the breakfast table. yells my big sister Bella, ‘he’s still doing it!’ ‘She can’t hear you,’ I say calmly. ‘No one can hear you. Now, pass me the butter.’ ‘ M ú u ú u m ! ’

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whacks my

Bella

arm with her magazine.

I don’t even flinch. ‘Violence is not your friend, Bella,’ I say.

‘ M ú u ú m ! ’ ‘ T e l l h i m t o s h u t u p ! ’

yells Bella again, but she knows it’s hopeless.

‘Your mother is busy,’ I say. ‘She can’t protect you. Now, do you want me to repeat myself? Pass the butter.’ Bella glares at me over her cereal. She glares so hard I can see red and purple lights shooting out of her eyeballs. There is no way she will pass the butter. I don’t even want the stupid butter. I just wanted to say ‘Pass me the butter’.

9

‘Bella,’ I say,

‘ pass the orange juice, ple e e ea se.

And the toast.

And the cereal.

The milk jug .

And the sugar.

The teapot.

Pass me the fridge,

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the microwave,

the dishwasher,

the oven,

the sink,

the kitchen window.

Pick up Pugsley and pass him to me too …’

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Bella moans and sinks down in her chair. ‘Just you wait, Danny Dumbo, ’ she growls, ‘you’ll get yours.’ I say. I throw Pugsley a crust. I ' m scared , ’ ‘ O o o O O O O O O

12

The ABC ‘Wave’ device is a trademark of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation and is used under licence by HarperCollins Publishers Australia. First published in Australia in 2018 by HarperCollins Children’sBooks a division of HarperCollins Publishers Australia Pty Limited

ABN 36 009 913 517 harpercollins.com.au Text copyright © Jen Storer 2018 Illustrations copyright © Mitch Vane 2018

The rights of Jen Storer and Mitch Vane to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work have been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000 . This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968 , no part may be reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher. HarperCollins Publishers Level 13, 201 Elizabeth Street, Sydney NSW 2000, Australia Unit D1, 63 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, Auckland 0632, New Zealand A 53, Sector 57, Noida, UP, India 1 London Bridge Street, London SE1 9GF, United Kingdom 2 Bloor Street East, 20th floor, Toronto, Ontario M4W 1A8, Canada 195 Broadway, New York NY 10007, USA A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of Australia. ISBN 978 0 7333 3335 4 Cover and internal design by Stephanie Spartels, Studio Spartels Cover illustration by Mitch Vane

Stock photography by iStockphoto.com, stock.adobe.com, designsurplus.co, graphicburger.com, texturemate.com, lostandtaken.com, mockupcloud.com and alldesignstore.com Printed and bound in Australia by McPherson’s Printing Group The papers used by HarperCollins in the manufacture of this book are a natural, recyclable product made from wood grown in sustainable plantation forests. The fibre source and manufacturing processes meet recognised international environmental standards, and carry certification.