TE20 Migrant Mosaics

Carmen-Francesca Banciu

Relieved. Unburdened. Freed. Sentenced to passivity.

I wasn’t even sixteen when it all began. My performance at school was still good at the time. My talents diverse. I was regarded as the wunderkind, fluent in several languages. I was self-confident and had my own views, which I also defended. I thought that one didn’t have to necessarily thank the Party for the mechanization of agriculture. I also said it out loud. One only had to look around at what was happening in theworld. Then one would know that development and progress were the products of society. That was not received well. Whether Father was informed about my statements is unknown to me. Probably not. It was only later that I was held accountable for it. All this, and much more, was later in my files. My correspondence with foreign pen pals also made me think about how communism could be reformed. At the time I wrote a novel about this, which can still today be found among my confiscated documents. I possessed qualities that were desirable, the Party said. A sense of justice. Compassion toward the oppressed and a readiness to help them. They saw me as a fighting spirit and not open to compromises.

Theyoperated fromtheassumption that theundesirablequalities could be quickly eradicated from me.

Excellent psychologists developed behavioral profiles of us PCR- 242