Trafika Europe 11 - Swiss Delights

stoneage

the testingroom in “high meadow.” they ask so much, the man and the woman. the man with the white mask approaches me. dark, threatening eyes. i cannot get away. no, please, no, don’t come, don’t tie down silvia, don’t torture silvia any more, don’t anesthetize silvia, no more lightning, please, no more, no more. i’ll be good, i have done everything you accuse me of, but please, don’t torture me any more, leave silvia in peace, don’t kill her, she dies for fear. fear, darkness, pain. blackness, to be ripped apart at the middle of the body, silvia’s head, help, please, help, stop, stop . . . crash. falling, silvia does not know whereto, endlessly falling. my god, won’t this ever stop. but there, where the falling ends, there is absolutely nothing. never to return again, no longer to be able to fight back, the ends of nerves burn, no longer, i cannot endure this anymore, i cannot take this pain any more. darkness, unconsciousness. awakening. alone. silvia’s entirebody shakes, shebabbles incomprehensibly. where is silvia, what has happened? contours of humanbeings, incomprehension, emptiness, airless room, white, much white, tiles. silvia stammers mummy, mummy, please, come get silvia. silvia cries. they leave silvia alone with her pain. silvia is nine years old. she does not understand the pain, not the violence that caused it. they say that it is normal, this emptiness, fatigue, this is always the case, afterwards. silvia doesn’t understand, closes her eyes, believes herself invisible,

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