Trafika Europe 3 - Latvian Sojourn

that Strasse as if towards a test point where I can check with a simple physical touch whether I really am moving or whether I’m dreaming under hypnosis, or both, or most likely some third possibility, or whether I really am fighting my way towards the goal I have set for myself.

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I began to entertain the thought of saying “to hell with all this” and going out and having fun with his money. Whatever his means is a different story, but now isn’t the time for that, not tonight. Right then, that night, at 8 pm as I left the Hotel Hamburg, I was sure that this long day would end by midnight at the latest and with a girl, paid for with cash. Or better yet, with two hired girls. And I would pay them more than I had to, because it would be his money. The booth with the red ceiling and the neon lights was merely a rehearsal. So that I would later be able to last longer with real girls, with prostitutes – I’m not going to come fast, I told myself. And so on.

Those were my plans at eight.

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