Trafika Europe 9/10 - UK in Europe

JayMerill

oneaccusingmental finger which pointed directly at you-know-who. A few months further down the line and they’d arrived at seeing how I’d been given every chance to settle in and prove myself a good co-tenant. But I’d turned out to be a far cry from what had been hoped for. So,wouldn’t the lotof them be happy when I buggered off and left them to their own devices and a house now uncontaminated by my presence? When I’d gone over this question a few times I began to see that the very opposite was true. Of course. They needed a victimmore than anything or it would be back to fear and instability for the lot of them. And just now I’ve thought of a further point. It’s just come to me. A comedian.

I was more of a comedian than anything else and they needed that. I was the joker in the pack; the court jester. In this way I’d managed my scapegoat role better than most would. I smiled at them with my inane smile and jangled my bells and it keptme safe. Theyweren’t really going to crucify me. All I had to do was twinkle and keep this whole show going indefinitely with my smile. It made me laugh to think of where they’d be when I left. I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole house didn’t fall apart. Because, and I’ve only come to see this very recently, I was actually the core of the establishment. And that was the thought that filled me with the most incredible sense of horror you can imagine. The hypocrisy, the malice,

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