Trafika Europe 9/10 - UK in Europe

Bakhtiyar Ali

experienced moments like this, where they have slain their own creaturewithout hesitation. They have no regrets. They simply don their old masks once more and carry on, even, after a while, forgetting. I, Mullah Gharib-i Hajar, however, with one foot in the grave, must now confess the truth and tell you that I could not kill as others do. Though the killing would have been justified. Failure to kill him results in guilt and a multitude of sins. I do not know what stayed my hand but I do know that there were countless nights when I held a dagger or a gun and could have drawn the dagger or aimed the gun at that damned apparition. I need not have followed his debauchery and yet that is a lie because his

pull was too great for me ever to think of resistance. Like an ocean of secrets, it worked its endless effect and swept me away; often, neither my hands nor my mouth worked, and by the time I had recovered consciousness and realised how dangerous were the fantasies he harboured, neithermy lashnormystick were of any use. Each time I took the lash to that vile man, it was my own soul and body that I whipped. No matter how much I try to explain this to you now, it will avail nothing. But the history of man is the history of the apparitions and ghosts escaped from man’s imagination. I swear to you that I spared no effort in punishing myself constantly. And still I was enamoured of your bewitching mother, and I had to make sure my

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