TE15 Lithuanian Honey Cake

By Remote Means

of wallowing in shitcases – is that what he strove for with all his talent, hard work, determination and stubbornness? It was no secret that Lithuanian courts were overrun with stolen chickens, sprats, hatchets, shampoo bottles, laundry lines – no, not those taken off of suicides, that would at least be something, but no – banalities: lines of underwear, panties, hoses dragged from the neighbor ’s yard, sometimes with a half-asleep suburban cow attached to one end… So, at night, lying next to his lightly snoring wife (already snoring, but what a gazelle she had been!), he would throw off the robes of a regional judge and climb into his idealized contours: an extraordinary man, a big man, a bellwether – and dream of larger fish. Well, we all sometimes get into such states, dreaming of something like that: catfishes, tenches, captain fish, moving their fins, nobly rustling by our ears. But that climbing in, you must agree, is emptier than empty – what kind of captains can there be? Baggy-pants… The judge was chewing on the arm of his glasses. He takes them off, feeling anxious, then, when his thoughts drift off to who knows where, suddenly, he suddenly returns to the moment, puts them back on, in a hurry, crookedly. He, this Butyrkinas, it seems, isn’t at all a sprat. This wretch is a captain! A thief. A real thief by the grace of God. He doesn’t even steal. He makes things disappear. Who would have thought… The method of disappearance is quite rare in legal practice – so rare, in fact, that we could say


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