TE16 Turkish Delight

Mario Levi

15 The Old Geography of Solitude

In other words, that evening had been the threshold of a brandnew story, a hope, once more. As it was in many journeys to a place or a person, however, the story would also remain within a dream, to be brought to another relationship with a measure of bitterness and apprehension. Such evenings had actually taken place before. The difference was the strong illusion of experience and a bold progress toward an imaginary lover with no thought for the risk of a greater hopelessness. Doubtless this attempt at a relationship would be longer lasting, drastic, and crushing. But what was the limit of defeat, the return to inadequacy, and most importantly, this timeline we were on? Where, on what geography of solitude, had this relationship occurred? Would they one day come to live on that distant island dreamed up by his lover that he wished to create even despite a few little lies, and wander, filled with new longing, on the verge of such a room? All else aside, who was the lover, how would she be defined one day, described? At what point in this exhausting journey did he stand, where would he head from here, how, and diminished by how much? These may well have been questions that needed answering, questions that could be prolonged, as previously, through certain possibilities and ambiguities, that could contribute in some way or other to the conception of a story. Ambiguities and crumbs of hope, yes. Did these words signal the possible discovery, at an unexpected time, of a desperately sought way out?

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