TE22 Potpourri

Lada Vukić

Special Needs

Is that it, Emil? The cat gave you your tongue back, did it?” my teacher cut in, somewhat spoiling my excitement. “Gordana, leave him alone. What child doesn’t like PE? It’s certainly not the thought of numbers that make us smile. Isn’t that right, Emil?” Professor Nikola said in my defence. “Ahaa…” I said, beside myself with happiness. I felt as if I were floating above my desk. Maybe I’ll get a pair of trainers, I immediately thought. Trainers for PE! Finally, there was somebody here who understood me. “Listen, Nikola” said my teacher, but she said it in a strange way. It was like when mum says to me “listen, Emil.” But it definitely couldn’t be the same. Sheeven took himby theelbow, the sound in her chest even louder than before. “If hismother signs her approval for Emil toexercise underyour supervision, then fine. I’ve got nothing against it and don’t get me wrong. It’s just that we have to be very careful, these things aren’t as simple as you imagine. Think it over: do you need a burden like that? What if something happens? Who will be blamed? Who will be responsible?” she said, all the while smiling, twisting a lock of hair around her finger, even though what she was saying wasn’t funny at all. I mean, it wasn’t funny to me. Of course, it could be that it was funny, though why I didn’t know. Because I wasn’t good at adding and subtracting the serious from the unserious. That’s why.

What was going on inside her didn’t stop. It became louder and faster, like a train without brakes. Like in a movie I once saw. The train speeded up, but the brakesweren’tworking. I thought something like that was going to happen now. A disaster and explosion, like in the movie! That my teacher would burst into a thousand pieces! At first, she didn’t hear me because shewas…wrapped up in her own movie. That’s what you say when you’re only physically present and your mind is somewhere else. But her movie had nothing to do with the movies we see on TV. It was just something you said. She taught me that because she often says: “Emil, come back to us from the movie in your head, you’re in class!” Plus, she’d get angry if I didn’t immediately understand what she wanted of me. Now she couldn’t get angry because then she’d have to be angry at herself too. And how could she, when she didn’t realize that she was wrapped up in her own movie? I said again, only louder this time: “Miss…” I called out to her.

“Miss…”

“Yes?”

“What’s the matter?”

“What do you mean, what’s the matter? I could ask you the same thing. What’s the matter with you, Emil?” 151

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