TE23 Double Feature

The Lamentations of Zeno

Ilija Trojanow

say, this is where humans and the Antarctic got to know each other, it sure is quite a mess, they really ought to clean it up, do you know what that building was for?”

until there weren’t any fur seals left, after that the elephant seals were killed for their blubber and the try-pots were heated with penguins when the fuel ran out, and when there weren’t any elephant seals left the penguins were rendered into oil. Everything was put to use—humans are always so eager to show Nature more efficient ways to manage her resources. I tramp across a gently sloping soccer field: the crooked goalposts a comforting sight. Slaughter by morning and soccer in the afternoon. Did the goalie’s hands stink? Were the striker’s shins streaked with blood? I leave because I know what they would say, the same thing everyone is always telling me: How come you have to be so negative? Why do you always insist on ruining the mood? Can’t you leave off just for once? The same thing over and over, burbling around me from dawn to dusk: don’t take it all so seriously, relax, stop picking on everything, turn a blind eye, things won’t work out so bad, nothing’s as awful as it seems—everyone has installed the 19

“There are some plaques on the other side, along the main path, with detailed information.”

“You’re not going to make us traipse through all that mud now are you, Mr. Zeno, now that we’ve run into you.” “That was the blubber cookery, Mrs. Morgenthau. First they carved the whales up here right where we are standing, then they extracted oil from the blubber in giant cookers.” “That sounds like hard work.” “Lucrative work. With high returns. In a good year they cooked away up to forty thousand whales.” I politely take my leave, otherwise I’d have to explain how first the fur seals were skinned, 18