journal d'une transition

244

*25-9-1979, Auroville: The police arrive, two inspectors and a dozen constables. We answer their questions, clarify our position, letting them see “the other side”, and we go on with our clean-up. Jyotiprem comes to tell me that it was not he who had called the police; we believe him. Later, when Piero comes, we all agree that we’ll start dismantling all 4 wooden towers as well as the bottom platform, which are not needed for the work any more. We learn that the SAS’s intention is to bring their own engineers and take full charge. I understand that, at this point, fear is our worse enemy… *26-9-1979, Auroville: Meditating on those issues, I wonder: what of having to push out brothers, like D.S? Yet this would be only logical, since they are choosing to support the SAS, siding with it and endorsing its claims. But I can’t! Therefore, if this is not viable, what then is the point of rejecting anyone? Ideally everyone should be able to work at Matrimandir, even the worst “enemies”, even the meanest people, even those who most distort Your work because, working for Matrimandir, they would be working for a true design and serve a true purpose… I don’t know… I cannot be seriously “against” anyone… What is this pretence at purity anyway!? Each of us is as mixed a milieu as the next one! I feel more truth with some, less with others, more at home with some, more alien with others, that is all; but my work and priority is to see in myself what resists, rejects or distorts the Truth and to offer it… Yet there are people who actively seek to thwart Your Work and Action, there are those who wilfully lie, who want power and control… But I had always felt that Matrimandir’s presence was capable of dissolving… opposition! What can heal the cause of lie? Perhaps it is Divine Love. But we are not ready: we would all be shattered! What to do? *27-9-1979, Auroville: There is a good energy at work this morning; we work on the towers till 10 am, when P.G calls me to join the Pour Tous meeting at the office. When I enter the packed room, he asks that I chair the meeting; I cannot refuse. There is a rather poised atmosphere, sober. We go through the topics, collect the information… Just then the postman arrives with a registered letter addressed to Piero: sent by Guru Prasad of the SAS, it is a letter of a manager dismissing an employee for having failed in his duty, a most gross and ridiculous letter, as if this attempt at human unity, called “Auroville”, was a business venture or a factory and they were in-charge of its running! They thereby dismiss Piero from his functions as architect and engineer on-site and demand that he hands over his house key within two weeks, or else…! After the meeting has ended, some talk goes on by the office, and odd bits of information fall into place… The matter of tantrism is brought up again, as practiced by SSJ and people close to him; there is a rumour that a piece of land near Matrimandir has been offered to some of them… All this reminds me of several dreams and experiences I have had in the last few weeks, particularly of the “attack” I had right after I had met SSJ on the road: it had happened in my sleep, I had found myself stuck into a narrowing space, something alien entering my nerves