journal d'une transition

259

I remember a little more easily, nowadays, the different kinds of activity I have in my sleep. In one part, last night, I again saw H: we were all gathered in a large meeting; a young boy was chairing; H came in, sat and wanted to speak, to give some explanation; but the fact that he was wearing a golden SAS symbol on his wrist made everybody upset and most people wanted to throw him out… I would have let him speak, though! Another activity involved V again; we were visiting a very beautiful place, on top of a high cliff; the access path I was following was quite difficult and I had to carry V on my shoulders, but it was so beautiful; then as we approach, we see that the others – we were a group before – are already there, having found a much easier route; as we step down some stairs cut into the rock, V becomes C… In a last activity, I am undergoing a sleep-cure and friends are looking after me; in this place there is a kind of oven-like thing, enormous, that sends formidable heat down long, long ducts to a far place where things are melted and transformed, and I become apprehensive because at some point I “see” that some of the screws or rivets are not tight… … It is only this afternoon that I learn of C.E’s accident this morning at Matrimandir: he fell from the base of a tower down into the pit, not a great height, but he got two deep wounds, in one thigh and one arm, that had to be stitched in Jipmer, and he will have to stay immobile for a few days. This I learn from Jacq and Kiran who were on their way to visit him. Why did no one tell me? I send a message with them, as I must go and prepare the dinner with Phil. Later Jacq brings me his answer: he is alright, I must not worry, it is not too bad, and we are together more than ever… Perhaps he is more psychically aware than I am…? But I am a little angry: he has stubbornly wanted to work on his own… Seeing how anxious I am, Jacq and Kiran gently tease me… *30-11-1979, Auroville: Early this morning C.E sent me a message through Nat that he needed me to change his bandages. I stay with him to attend to his wounds, on my way to work. The tear on his thigh has been brutal, and may leave a strong scar; there are about 9 stitches on it. Besides the stitched wound on his arm, there are several minor cuts and a lot of bruises. It takes me an hour to clean and bandage it all. He tells me that he had not even been aware of falling: he just all of a sudden found himself in the water of the pit and got up at once…! (His disregard for minimal safety had always made it difficult to work with him in a team…) He seems to be happy that I came and took care. … Piero has finally brought me the drawings for the shuttering of the circular beam; he has now decided to give away most of the cement to “Jaïma”: that is a relief! … Today we have called Meenakshi to help us translate with the villagers who still want to use the amphitheatre as drying and threshing grounds for their crops: it has grown out of proportion, particularly as they have also taken to graze all their cattle around Matrimandir and it has become unmanageable… It becomes apparent that they have no wish for a solution to which we could also agree; but when they are told that the Collector may be called in, they seem to be impressed enough to reconsider. … The news is confirmed that our new carpenter has indeed joined the “enemy” and is now itself sitting with them… This is all like ashes in the mouth…!

*1-12-1979, Auroville: