journal d'une transition

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manipulent, que manient, que proposent les écologistes, les verts, et d’une certaine manière, d’une manière aussi très semblable, les anti-militaristes, car la vue des anti-militaristes est très courte, très, très courte, et les écologistes aussi, à mon avis… Là il y a une morale par-derrière, une morale globale, cohérente… Moi, ce texte me parait excellent. Il faudrait certainement pour qu’il ait des chances d’être publié ailleurs, il faudrait le remanier et le raccourcir, je pense, et le clarifier au niveau des intentions : c’est ça, surtout ; parce qu’il risque de créer des malentendus, tel quel. Mais, sur l’exigence morale en effet, je suis totalement d’accord, et sur tout ce qu’il dit, encore une fois, au niveau des différences entre les uns et les autres, la nécessité de les mettre en rapport, de les prendre en compte, et de les vivre charnellement, je dirais…

ChJ – Moi, je trouve que c’est un très beau texte…

FJ – Oui, oui…!”

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*5-5-1986, Auroville: Nervously and physically I seem to be rather low, dragging on… I bet that, should I see a doctor, he’d find a number of things badly wrong; but then there’s no point to it; it is something else… More and more I am learning to dispense with vital energies; and so, externally, I loose personal interest in most of what presents itself and I feel also less able to cope energetically with any of it, unless there are no interferences and I can find my own rhythm… I do believe that I am being taught: despite all the drawbacks, the blank and bleak moments of helplessness, I feel a growing trust in that process… *8-5-1986, Auroville: I have a hard time with the heat this year; often my eyes are burning, my scalp aches and my skin itches, and all the small blood vessels seem to want to burst at the seams, and I only feel alright at home, drawing or painting or reading… As there is no imperative need for me to stay at “Ravena” very long, I have no guilty feelings, for the moment…! *9-5-1986, Auroville: Back from “Sri Ma” beach where I took Ar. and Samuel this afternoon; the time is drawing nearer when he will leave, with Soaz and Gwen, back to France: just one more week. I took many pictures of him today. I do not know what is best for him. I cannot insist one way or another… But he has been such a gift for me…! For which I am so grateful. … The wind has turned; it is 38° in the shade…

*11-5-1986, Auroville: If I lie outside at night, on the terrace, I keep starting and jumping awake as cockroaches and big black ants come to bite me, really as if “on purpose”; il I lie inside behind the screens, it gets stifling hot and I am soon drenched; if I let one