journal d'une transition

691

yesterday was the new moon, D.M’s sign; perhaps something has upset those parts or elements that have remained connected with the place and with the work… I do not know anything; and I don’t care to “know” mentally; I care to grow more aware and conscious, centrally, but I have no knowledge: only a mixed bag of perceptions, impressions, and fragments of experience… *8-12-1986, Auroville: I spent a quiet moment with Su, because I’d seen that she had become upset, and I find it important that friendship is upheld. … I have been preparing a comprehensive statement of accounts, to be sent to Janaka’s sister, along with a letter, as Larry told me today that she had talked over the phone with Nini of “Aurelec” and expressed the view that the family wasn’t at all considering contributing more money to “Ravena”… Larry seemed to be depressed about it and feeling defeated and about to give up trying; but I insisted that we must keep trying to make them understand (the significance of “Ravena” and its importance to Janaka)… *9-12-1986, Auroville: One of last night’ activities was an interesting adventure: we were on the moon, and had found, finally, water; and we also found a pack of elephants; and we also met “people”; they were few, but very intense people, with very interesting attitudes; and the quality of the air is such that I can easily and happily do what I could only do in dreams of the subtle physical, that is to float up and down and over the whole place freely, fast or slow, fast and slow, just like a naiad in water, moving comfortably with the air currents… *10-12-1986, Auroville: There’s been some agitation today regarding Krishna: Akash, sent by Barbara, went around trying to gather everybody “as a group’ (probably the worse movement to fall into), so that could be conveyed to Krishna that he must change his ways regarding his music playing – his loud and insistent and relentless playing has driven both Barbara and Pat to a near-hysterical state… I know well what it is, for having lived it myself, but my experience with Krishna makes it impossible for me to join such a gathering; so, I declined. But it worries me: Krishna isn’t well within himself… … This afternoon Su left on my cycle the most delightful note I have ever received: she has tried to write in French about the clothes line that had broken, and her attempt created a most wonderful, sweet and funny sentence; strangely, it has left me with an impression of much dearness: I shall keep it with me… *11-12-1986, Auroville: Ar. came to meet me at “Ravena” this morning, needing to talk; she is worrying over my relationship with Su… And then Yaap came and somehow, for the first time, it turned out to be a rather simple and straightforward talk; he seems to have seen now and accepted the necessity for him to build his own house on a different plot, not as near to the main house, rather than to convert the hut into his own thing; this is encouraging…!