Fall 2026

BONKER’S WORLD Well, not much has happened since the White Rabbit Magic I experienced at turkey camp last spring so there isn’t much to write about, but as usual I have a lot to say. I survived another visit to Canada, or should I say Canada survived another visit from me? Not that I ever try to do anything intentionally wrong that would upset the delicate balance in international geopolitical relationships, but sometimes just being Bonker causes things to get a little, uh, bonkers. It started after our 14-hour drive. Needless to say, after riding fearlessly in Fearless V2.0 for that long anybody is going to be a bit “out of sorts”. We have a tradition of eating at the motel’s restaurant for supper. Poutine and a double cheese burger deluxe is my traditional meal. It took forever to get our order. I think it was a ploy the establishment used to get us to buy more beverages. So by the time the food arrived and in the face of a 14 hour Fearless V2.0 ride followed by almost being forced to order several beverages I was a little miffed that the poutine had congealed into an inedible blob that resembled something you’d see in the gutter of a dairy barn. I stood up and shouted “I CAN GET BETTER POUTINE THAN THIS IN GUNDER IOWA!” Silence fell, then I heard one chair being scooted away from a table which was quickly followed by dozens more. I looked around and saw way too many upset Canadian miners standing with scowls affixed and fists clenched. Who knew that I had just defamed a proud Canadian tradition? That would be all of the very large Canadian miners who had taken umbrage with my statement that perhaps the USA in general and little Gunder Iowa had better poutine than Canada. There were four of us and dozens of them. I chanced a look at my fellow Americans and the look all three gave me was “You dummy. You’re on your own.” Maybe if there had only been a dozen of them I might have done something different, but several dozen? I didn’t like my odds, so I grabbed the congealed blob of dairy droppings and started eating

it like a large piece of pizza. I know it is impolite to talk with my mouth full, but I put a few “mmmm mmmmm, good stuff” and head nods into it. After the last swallow I exclaimed “That’s the best damn poutine in the world!”. The potential international crisis was averted and in true Canadian fashion the miners were apologetic for having taken offense at my comment and several bought us more beverages. Nice guys, those Canadians miners. Poutine notwithstanding, our trip to Canada was a bit different this year. Chef Dave couldn’t make the trip which caused a shake up in the responsibilities, the main one being who was going to do the meal planning and cooking? I volunteered but my menu would have been limited to fried Spam and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, toasted for a hot meal and cold for the rest. The Spam was the deal breaker. Chef Dave’s absence also necessitated finding a fourth guy for the trip. Some of you may remember from years ago I had a gentleman on my Bonker’s Blocker Pro Staff called “The Rocket”, not because he was fast, he is a for real scientist, maybe not a rocket scientist but a scientist just the same. As a Bonker’s Blocker Pro Staffer, The Rocket was expected to test, verify the efficacy and promote the Bonker’s Blocker. What was the Bonker’s Blocker? Back in the day I had a theory that buck antlers were actually receptors, or “antennas” that could detect human brain waves. The bigger the antlers the better the detection and the smaller the antlers the weaker the detection. My first plan was to wrap tinfoil around the buck’s antlers to block his ability to detect human brain waves. After suffering several severe injuries from trying to put tinfoil on large antlers I thought maybe blocking the brain waves from getting out of the hunters head may be a better way to go. That was the birth of the Bonker’s Blocker, it was a kit of tinfoil sheets that when properly applied to a deer hunter’s head would block their brain waves from being transmitted through the atmosphere to be detected by a buck’s antenna.

IOWA BOWHUNTERS ASSOCIATION

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