IOWA BOWHUNTER FALL 2023/WINTER 2024

BONKER’S WORLD FALL ISSUE (Cont.)

stick pen. Koko reasoned that if Koko took the pen apart it would make a dandy straw. Koko used the straw to taste the beverage. It was too hot so Koko got a cold beverage out of the cooler. Koko like! Koko also reasoned it was best to stay inside instead of going out on the porch where it was ever so much cooler, because it could expose Koko early and decrease the effectiveness of the surprise, plus Koko never wondered far from Koko’s beverage source. While Koko waited Koko made many trips to the cooler for beverages and practiced Koko’s euchre words: “two no,” “two no trump,” “inkle,” “three aces,” “drop the hammer,” “Bonkers, you are an idiot” “throw the hook Bonkers, throw the hook,” “Bonkers don’t lead the ace, the jack is higher,” “Bonkers, lay off the Makers”, “Bad Bonkers. Bad, bad Bonkers.” Finally Koko heard footsteps coming up the trail. Now was the time for Koko’s big surprise. But the footsteps slowed and stopped. Koko thought for a moment, “Koko stay or Koko go outside?” Then there were more sets of footsteps coming up the path and Koko felt fear, what if bad men come to take Koko back to lab? Koko no go back, Koko like freedom! Koko like using plastic straws, paper straws no good for Koko! The footsteps came up the stairs, Koko jumped for the door, Koko reasoned freedom was better

than going back to the lab, so Koko ran out the door knocking down Koko’s would be captors in the process. Koko vaulted over the railing and ran, up hill, but not very far before Koko felt a twinge in Koko’s bottom. Koko was able to take two more steps before Koko’s world went black. Koko slowly gained consciousness. Koko looked around and was relived to find familiar surroundings. Then three faces peered down at him. “Koko no go back. Koko no go back.” One of the faces said “Bonkers, I think you pulled a hammy.” Another face said “Bonkers, you drank all the beverages.” The third face said “Bonkers, you are an idiot.” I did indeed wear Koko that evening playing euchre. I honestly can’t remember who won, but I have an inkling it wasn’t Koko, nor his partner. The next day I was in the blind by mid morning, and exactly when “mid morning” occurs depends on who is defining it. There are some that would say “mid morning” is 0600, halfway between midnight and noon. I say mid morning starts at 1000. My point is I sat in the sensory sucking blind from mid morning until 1600 (4 pm for the time challenged) and I didn’t see a thing. I figured I had one more hour of sanity left so I went back to my book and started another chapter in a Donald Harstad novel.

made me look up to scan the area, and what did I see? Turkeys. Three toms were looking over my jake and hen. The toms were about 20 yards out and doing the slow heads up walk toward my decoys. I had a good look at all three and they were identical in size so I decided the first one to cross directly in front of me would get blasted. I stuck the gun out of the blind and pulled the trigger. The result was a dead turkey at 12 yards. I thought that would have been the end of the show, but his two buddies went to town on my jake and hen. I watched the spectacle for several minutes and got some of it on my phone. I wanted to be done for the day so I stumbled out of the blind just to scare them off. Even then they stood and stared before I shooed them away. I gathered my prize and walked back up the same mountain I had walked up to get to the blind. Of course once I caught my breath and the chest pains subsided it was picture time so I put on Koko to preserve the moment for all posterity. About three months after turkey season it was time to head to Canada. When I arrived at my personal guide’s place I expected to see Fearless in the driveway all hooked up and ready to go. But there was a different van hooked to the trailer. My personal guide met me in his driveway. He could tell

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