Alcala Yearbook 1992-1993

A-8

ALCALA NEWS Someday 1992-1993 Financial Aid Office announces closure

dence, as well as a letter of refer- submitted to the office of Finan ral signed by President Hughes. cial Management who took the The closure of the FAO is the plan under advisement and sub resultofarecentstudyperformed sequently adopted it. Pithycard, by a group of seniors in the busi- however,suggested that the move ness school. They were assigned was not entirely financially moti to audit the University's books vated. and see if there was any way in "It'snotthattheUniversityhas which USD could save money anything against students who without jeopardizing the quality are unable to pay USD tuition out of education provided. of pocket," he said. "It's simply The students were amazed that we have come to the conclu when they discovered the amount sion that these students don't aid ·of the budget that went to the usinmaintainingourhardearned FAO, and imediately determind reputation as an elitist school. that its dissolution would remove Let's face it, poor students just a great burden. Their plan was aren't good for our image." Foreign Language Department adds five new to repertoire

would continue with their edu– cationatUSD,Pithycard replied that, "While it was a difficult decision to make, the Univer– sity had to face facts, and the facts are that a number of stu– dents will be forced to go else– where. "Mind you, " he added, "we are not turning our backs on the students who are in need of additional funding. Each stu– dent who has been receiving aid will be contacted and pro– vided with a list of high quality technical schools near their place of permanent resi- The staff spent one week on the island, where they were housed in the Bermuda Royal Star Hotel, the most expensive on Bermuda. All expenses, in– cluding airfare, were subse– quently billed to the University. The University paid the bill without questioning the size or nature of the bill. "I ts amazing what these people got away with," said Stahr. "Iknow I'll feel better with them out of power there. Until then, no one is safe." According to Rakers, the trip was to attend a conferenceabout improving yearbook layout techniques. Rakers disputes the charges brought up against her publication. "We have done nothing wrong," said Rakers. "Our trip to Bermuda was per– fectly routine, and standard pro– cedure for any top noch year– book." "I intend to fight these charges with everything in my power," said Rakers. "There'll be blood on the courtroom floor before we go down. "

In late March, USD Spokes– person Madison Pithycard an– nounced in a press conference that as of June 26, 1993 the Fi– nancial Aid Office would cease to exist. "The FAO [Fiancial Aid Of– fice] has been a real drain on the University's budget," said Pithycard, referring to the an– nual allocation of funds the FAO receives. "We simply feel that there are better ways for the university to spend its money." When questioned as to how students who had formerly re– lied on the FAO for funding fairs finally succeed in infiltra t– ing the notorious underworld of the Alcala yearbook. For years, rumors had abounded, telling of the in– credible amount of power wielded by this seemingly in– nocuous member of AS. Unfor– tunately, they were caught too late. Editor-in Chief, Jennifer "Sweetcheeks" Rakers, had managed to elude the office of Internal Affairs for many months before they were able to sort through all of the dummy departments which had been set up to camouflage the Alcala's illicit programs. "We're just glad that we can finally close this case," said in– spector Rex Stahr, chief investi– gator on the Alcala case. "We are still unable to prove any of the major viola tions, but we got them on budget mismanage– ment, and that's enough to send them up the river." Themismanagement that the inspector referred to was §111 al– leged business trip, taken by

Yearbook indicted as object of undercover sting operation After months of undercover the entire Alcala staff to the Is– investiga tion, USD Internal Af- land of Bermuda.

In light ofUSD's new stand on multiculturalism, the Foreign Language Department chose to be a front runner by adding five new foreign languages to the depatment's list. "We were beginning to feel constrained by the drab line of Classical languages that we've been offering up to this point," said Foreign Language Chair, Jean-Marie Beauchamps. "We thought it might be fun to spice things up a little with some new, fresher languages." The new languages Dr. Beauchamps refers to are Djibuti, from the African Kalahari region; Innuit, from the arctic circle; Quechua, from the jungles of South America; Algonquin from the Algonquin tribe inNewYork; and Yiddish. Dr. Beauchamps admitted having had difficulty in choos– ing which languages to add. "The decision was hard to make, there are so many languages to choose from" he said. "But in the end we went with the choices we felt would be most helpful to our students, and we think we have found them."

Sixteen new staff members have been hired to teach the new languages, including the world renowned Dr. Mobutu Senya– Seyisi from Kenya . "I feel most pleased that this University has made the deci– sion to teach such a controver– sial language as Djibuti obvi– ously is;" said Dr. Senya-Seyisi, "And yet I am not surprised as this has always been such a pro– gressive school." So far, enrollment in the new classes has been small. Yet the questionable turnout does not seem to bother Dr. Beauchamps. "I am not worried," he said. "Many students are intimida ted. The Romance languages terrify them, so it'll take a little more time for them to adjust to these more challenging languages." The most popular class ap– pears to be Yiddish, taught by a number of old Jewish women from a nursing home in North County. "It's a killer class," said fresh– man Dan Packard. " I don't get what they're saying but they al– ways bring in these awesome cookies."