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Amy’s memory

I only remember the odd thing from when I had mutism syndrome. I don’t remember it ever feeling

frustrating though. It was just something that was happening. I remember my parents used to give me

choices by holding things up for me and trying to choose the one I looked at. Sometimes these choices

were probably wrong but a lot of the time I don’t think I registered this, or if I did I didn’t care, not like I’d

given up because I don’t think I felt that much emotionally. I do remember my brother and sister coming in

and doing ‘funny shows’ for me in the playroom though, and I used to laugh at those.

I remember going on a computer program at the hospital school and, while I was aware that someone was

guiding my hand, I felt like I was doing some of the work. When I was watching a dog show outside, I

remember clapping afterwards (though this must have been my mum moving my hands for me). In a music

therapy session I remember using an ‘ocean drum’.

It’s interesting that I remember it was me doing things when actually it was just people moving my hands. I

do remember the names of the people that helped me, better than my mum does though, and can picture

their faces.

“At home, I think my emotions came back, or became more defined. And not long after that, I started

speaking again. When I went back to school I was quite annoyed with how much people asked me if I was

okay or if I needed help when I was just getting on with what I was doing. That must have been because of

my slow reactions. They have got better since but sometimes that still happens. I’ve just had to learn to

accept it and I’m not that good at asking for help when I need it anyway so I often do need it”