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HAVERGAL COLLEGE
“
planning, compassion in the complex web of social relations, courage
when a girl expresses a difference of opinion and integrity when she
chooses doing the hard thing over taking the easy way out.
Away from the limelight, there are hundreds of private moments that
occur daily when our girls have to find their own way, and yet we
have a role to play in them, too. In what circumstances do we leave
a student to sort something out for herself? When does she need a
helping hand? When is it time to involve her peers or parents?
In the Junior School, a teacher might sit with two girls at recess to
help them resolve a disagreement by having them use our core values
to assess their actions. In the older grades, a counsellor or advisor
could help a teen resolve her anxiety about university program
choices by helping her reflect on what matters most to her. And on
both sides of the bridge, students who struggle with behaviour might
visit with either of us to talk about how they can make decisions that
are more productive and considerate.
Private moments are particularly important for learning about good
decision-making because they often require girls to consider several
values at once—a kind of moral triangulation. An obvious example is
when a girl is a bystander to bullying. It takes inquiry to understand
what is happening, integrity to know what’s right, compassion to care
enough to help and courage to do something about it.
A more subtle, everyday example might look like this: A top student
is at home putting the finishing touches on her math assignment
when she receives a text from a friend: “stuck on #8—can I c urs”
followed by the confused emoji. She stares at the screen as her
mind fills with thoughts:
I worked hard on this; she’s my friend;
helping others is good; cheating is wrong; it’s only one problem; no
one will know; I wish she hadn’t asked.
Then she texts back, “let’s ft.”
Once on FaceTime, she asks, “OK, where did you get to?” She then
spends 20 minutes helping her friend understand the concept. By
talking instead of sending a photo of her solution, she maintains
her integrity, shows courage by not going along with the request of
“
Private moments are
particularly important
for learning about good
decision-making because
they often require girls to
consider several values
at once—a kind of moral
triangulation.
Kindergarten students create a medical centre for their dolls.