Table of Contents Table of Contents
Previous Page  206 292 Next Page
Information
Show Menu
Previous Page 206 292 Next Page
Page Background

Bakhtiyar Ali

206

enemies could see me, as

soon as silence fell and no

creature made a sound,

a dark lust would surge

within me, the boards of

a different theatre would

fall into place and my soul

would become the stage

for something else. Any

yearning I had stifled in

the daytime, any desire or

lust I had hushed, would

surface in the shape of

weird creatures. I had

a feeling that a secret

power was drawing me

towards a different Earth

and Heaven, taking me

to another place where I

saw strange sights, naked

houris

and

ghilmans,

women beyond human

capacity to imagine, the

food and feasting God

has promised man only

in Paradise. In those dark

and secret alleyways, my

appearance changed in

frontofeverylooking-glass,

and each time I took on

a different shape as if it

were mine to choose, as

if God had granted me the

indulgence of seeking my

own appearance.

Oh,

my

fantasies

transported me to where

I could assume whatever

human form I wanted,

could give my body

whatever face I liked. It

was on those nights that

I became the author of

an anthology of ghazals.

When I summoned up

the courage to have the

poems published, no one

could believe that such

a shy and pious young

man could have written

such a book, a book that

hinted at blasphemy and

debauchery. It was the

harvest of darkness, the

harvest of my secret other

life. I responded quickly,

however, and denied it

was mine then kept myself