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T.O. BOBE
130
What the Pagodas Dreamed
in the Poem “Barbershop Nights”
Four virgins carry a bloody stretcher through the streets of
Rome. On the stretcher is an ear two meters long, with a well
developed olfactory sense. It is the imperial inspector in charge
of detecting prohibited smells. The girls’ cleats, quick-quick in
little steps, sink into dust up to their ankles. The drops of blood
give rise to crumpled ears, crushed immediately beneath the
crowdsofprotesters. The inspectorheads towardatavern,where
among the sweaty mercenaries, slave-traders, and Carthaginian
bohemians, Mr. Gică rubs Claudia’s feet. At the corner, it turns
out that the demonstrators were not protesting the inspector,
but were in fact applauding Speedy.
4
When Mr. Gică surpasses a certain frequency, Claudia begins to
cluck, and from under her wing she removes a sign saying, OUT
OF SERVICE. Then the imperial inspector in charge of detecting
prohibited smells enters the tavern. He climbs off the stretcher,
flop plop, and states: “Pheromones here are trotting. The smell
of their trepidation has rattledme all the way from the handrails
of the Coliseum. My most-high synesthesia is revolted. Arrest
him!”
Their beards flowing through the tavern smoke, the girls move
toward Mr. Gică. Mr. Gică deditur, gallinae proiicintur. Outside is
heard the trotting asexual demos, shouting, “Speedy, Speedy!”
4 Speedy is an Ethiopian gladiator, who escaped the arena thirty-six times via
onerous flight.