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After eight years with Ulster Rugby he has decided
its time to try ventures new including some
ventures old! I would like to take this opportunity
to thank, pay tribute to and remenise about the
quiet unassuming former dairy farmer turned
physiotherapist from Dromore, but instead I’m
going to tell you about Alan…
To be honest, he is rarely referred to as Alan
amongst us. He is more commonly known as either
‘The Bandit’ or ‘The Fridge’. Having hoodwinked
the handicap committee at camp, he won the
annual Ulster Open and the coveted ‘Purple Jacket’
on his first attempt. Hence, the name, ‘Bandit’. He
also holds the record of holding the purple jacket
for the shortest period of time – he managed
to lose it in the subsequent court session that
evening! ‘The Fridge’ was bestowed upon him
as apparently his body shape resembles that of
a fridge – I suspect a free standing fridge freezer
type?
Whether it’s Alan, ‘the Bandit’ or ‘the Fridge’, he is
without doubt one of the most popular, personable
and likeable characters in the squad. He is going to
be sorely missed by all of us here at Ulster Rugby.
Before I share a few tales with you, it is important
to say that as a clinician Alan is hugely talented,
experienced and a respected physiotherapist. He
has been a huge asset to the medical department
and our players alike. Having worked alongside
him and observed him for the last eight years I
know how he values the players, has their safety
and interest at heart for the good of the player and
the team.
His recent concern over Alan O’Connor’s chest hair
and a shoulder strapping may have taken his duty
of care too far and it’s best he explains?! Over the
last few years he has developed his interest and
skill set around the area of rehabilitation. There are
numerous examples of players who have worked
with him closely as they neared return to play.
Equally he has identified and addressed areas of
risk in competing players, to their benefit.
Alan’s hip, groin and yoga classes along with
his choice of attire have become the stuff of folk
lore – turning up wearing Marshy’s t-shirt from four
seasons ago which is far too tight and his retro
Kukri gym shorts which he just won’t part with,
clearly! As a colleague he is trustworthy and loyal.
He is a real team player. It has been my good
fortune to have worked alongside Alan, despite the
fact he is a Liverpool fan! I know? If ever there is an
example of equal opportunity in the workplace.
Enough of the serious stuff…
Dan (Tuohy) reckons he is the person he would
most like to be stuck in a lift with because his story
telling is legendary. His many tales from school,
rugby, Greenmount and farming often hold court
in the treatment room. Without doubt his finest tale
involves a groin injury, a healer from Rathfriland and
three sisters in America who couldn’t get pregnant.
You’ll need a seat; it takes a while – actions
included. His audience invariably end up in stitches
of laughter even if they have heard it all before. Just
so you know his groin healed and the three sisters
fell pregnant. Totally unrelated we are told.
There are a couple of glaring regrets with Alan. The
less obvious one involves the morning after the
Heineken Cup Final and the fact we didn’t get to
see him in a pair of salmon pink chinos – he found
his own denims eventually. But the daily regret will
be that he didn’t compete in Radio 2’s popmaster.
This is his thing each day. Whoever was being
treated had no choice. They were listening to Ken
Bruce at 10.30am. Let me tell you his knowledge of
music is good. He consistently does well and loves
nothing better than pulling a random 1970’s artist
out of nowhere as a correct answer. In addition to
his knowledge he does fancy himself as a bit of a
singer. Without warning he will break into a song
but often it does come with the warning. Famously
he once busked in Limerick - just ask Chris Henry.
He found him, parked in the back row of a group of
singers, eyes closed giving it loads. It seems only
Chris noticed and Alan moved on before he was
asked to. It’s been muted that we may well retire
Radio 2 and popmaster now that he has gone.
Alan’s finest comedic moment was observed by
only a few in Monza the morning of a European
Cup game in 2012. The staff were watching the
team go through some final preparations in the
hotel carpark. While he was attempting to balance
on the edge of a kerb Alan lost his footing. The
stumble forward became a run which lead to a
forward roll which ended in Alan bouncing to his
feet. It looked rehearsed to perfection. Technique
and timing were perfect. The move was more akin
THANK YOU ALAN McCALDIN
Tonight’s game marks the end of Alan McCaldin’s role as
physiotherapist to the senior squad.
GOODBYE AND GOOD LUCK