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Chapter 4 - The Failed Attempt
Judge Judie began racking his brain for a plan to sabotage the triathlon. The
stakes were far too high to fail. He would lose everything; his career, his co-
workers’ respect, his dignity, and so much more. Beads of sweat started to run
down his face, not assisting his permanently nervous facade. What on earth
could he do to help that spoilt little brat win? She wasn’t particularly good at
anything despite how hyped up her very existence was. Running, swimming,
cycling. All of them are relatively simple tasks with such a large range of
worst case scenarios, but for someone who overthought everything as much
as Judge Judie, the task seemed like re-inventing the wheel. As the starting
gun rang in his overly sensitive ears, he had an idea. Not a great idea but any
means, but on a scale of sliced bread to Titanic, it scored about the invention
of a USB.
Judge Judie set to work. He recited his scheme a countless amounts of times
in his head. He pictured the pleased look on Great Aunt Gretchen’s face, the
look when she sees Pinky run over the finish line and breaking the ribbon. He
was ready to share the plan he had concocted with Great Aunt Gretchen, how-
ever he soon realised the true meaning of the phrase ‘It sounded better in my
head’.
“You see, Gretchen, I have a cunning plan,” he told her, trying to sound like
he had some amount of self respect left.
“Excellent. What might it be, dolly lover?”
“Well, I am going to sabotage the cycling. I plan to replace some of the bike
parts with highly magnetized metal, so that the bikes are thrown off course
when they cross over the water mains, which I have contaminated with mag-
nets,” sounding like a madman when telling her.
Great Aunt Gretchen’s face began to curl into a smile. Judge Judie’s eyes lit
up. Her reaction was everything he had imagined it to be and more. Until,
suddenly, it wasn’t. Great Aunt Gretchen began to laugh at the idea.
“You Gimblebaster!” Great Aunt Gretchen cackled. “That would only work if
the judges were a bunch of bumbling Idiots-” she paused, soon realising who
the judges were and who she was talking to.
“You know what?” Gretchen concluded, “Sounds like a pretty good plan.”