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174

Faruk Šehić

‘just like that’?

Who would vacuum away

our family history and make

me think of the past as a

gathering of amiable ghosts?

Would I be allowed to blame

anyone, and whom would I

accuse?

But, as I’ve said: 1992 was far

away. There was no need for

these questions from the near

future because we were still in

a holistic past, in the middle of

the happy 1980s.

Dwarf corn grew in the sandy

fields in the summers. Its

sharpedged leaves cut droplets

of blood and the stalk would

shake when it was showered

with rain, which washed the

sand from its knobbly roots.

Tangles of tough veins sent

minerals and water to nourish

its living green. Armoured

mole crickets dug their tunnels

between the stalks,making the

soil loose and porous. Anglers

caught them and crammed

them into fogged-up jars

because they were a supreme

delicacy for big chubs.

Thecloudburstendedabruptly,

creating rainbow arcs in the

rain-washed blue. The air had

a savoury bitterness from the

respiration of the plants. I

watched them grow before

my eyes. The first swathe of

mowed grass smelt of lust:

the aroma of orgasm and the

vampire kiss of decay. And

so I matured, hot and cold,

together with the plants, and

in my thoughts I wrote these

lines:

The river is besieged by rain

An astonished mariner sinks

beneath the tufa

The spirit of a mole-cricket

whispers in his ear:

Melancholy is what defines us.