ACQ_Vol_11_no_3_2009

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ACQ Volume 11, Number 3 2009 173
Mental health
A consumer speaks
Barriers of glass: “Tammy’s” story
actually an “invisible force field to keep out the paparazzi!!”
I was diagnosed with manic depression when I was 16
after a lengthy stay at a local hospital. I married at 18 and
completed an apprenticeship, all the while having episodes
of euphoria, and then downs like you wouldn’t believe –
curling up in a foetal position in a dark cupboard for hours
or sometimes days on end, feeling like my heart had been
ripped out and replaced with sorrow and emptiness so black
I didn’t think I would ever be able to crawl out!! At other
times I could work 90 hours a week and spring back for
more – when everybody was dead to the world, I was up
and running.
When I became pregnant I guess in the back of my mind
I knew things wouldn’t be ok. I had just gotten used to the
idea of being pregnant, when I miscarried and my son was
gone. My next pregnancy was fraught with anxiety. When I
had my baby, everything went wrong. I started crying with
the baby blues after three days and didn’t stop for three
months. I didn’t go out – I spent my entire life cleaning a
house which was spotless, putting up signs around the
house about washing hands and not going to shopping
centres. I didn’t drive because we would surely crash, and
I didn’t want people over anymore lest they discover my
terrible secret. I ended up as an outpatient at a private
hospital and did an intensive course of CBT (cognitive
behaviour therapy). I had a good psychiatrist and tried
numerous medications but never gave them more than a
week to work, so of course they didn’t.
When my son was six months old I discovered I was
pregnant with my daughter. I was elated but my husband
wasn’t and my marriage started going sour. I didn’t get
PND (post natal depression) after she was born. She was
a great baby and life was bliss. Three months later I had
to go back to work because we were winding down our
business. The kids were up one after the other through the
It is very hard to sit and write this story of mine; avoidance is
not so easy when you’re staring at your life in black and
white! Parts of which I am certainly not proud of, parts that
don’t even sound like me, instead they could be some
delinquent uneducated mother high on drugs thinking the
most hideous vile things about her baby. This doesn’t sound
like me and of course it isn’t me anymore, but it’s been a
long hard road to recovery. I don’t take drugs, I am
successful and educated, have what I would consider a high
sense of morals – in fact the Vatican would think I was a bit
over the top! I married for the second time 5 years ago and
have a very good relationship with my husband, and our
blended family works better than most. My kids go to private
schools and I live in a nice area. Oh, did I mention I have
bipolar disorder? Life is very interesting when my “famous
friends” come to visit – not that they have for a while. Maybe
now that I am just Tammy, house wife extraordinaire, they
find my life style a little dull, but then I actually go to sleep
now!! I don’t paint fences at midnight by torch or decide to
rebuild the bathroom at three in the morning. Not that there
is anything wrong with those things, its just not good when
“Madonna” is holding the paint bucket and the paint is
Future Families is an Infant Mental Health service
located in the Children’s Health Services District, Royal
Children’s Hospital Child and Youth Mental Health
Service, Brisbane, Australia. Clinical assessments and
interventions are provided to infants and their families,
where there is concern that the mental health of the
infant may be compromised in the context of a
disturbed or disordered parent-infant relationship. This
is an excerpt from one mum’s story. Names and
identifying details have been changed.
Bipolar Disorder
Approximately 20% of adults are affected by some form
of mental health disorder every year, with bipolar disorder
affecting up to 2% of Australians (SANE, 2000). Bipolar
disorder is commonly known as manic-depression and is
a mental illness that causes unusual and intense shifts in
mood, energy, and activity levels which can affect the
individual’s ability to carry out their day-to-day tasks. The
intense emotional states that people with bipolar disorder
experience that occur in distinct periods are called “mood
episodes”. An overly joyful or overexcited state is called a
manic episode, and an extremely sad or hopeless state is
called a depressive episode.
Sometimes, during a severe episode of mania or
depression, psychotic symptoms such as hallucinations
or delusions are experienced. These psychotic symptoms
usually reflect the person’s extreme mood. For example,
psychotic symptoms for a person having a manic episode
may include believing he or she is famous or has special
powers. A person having a depressive episode may
believe he or she is penniless, or has committed a crime.
Bipolar disorder often develops in a person’s late teens
or early adult years with at least half of all cases starting
before age 25. It can be difficult to diagnose with the early
symptoms appearing to be separate problems rather than
characteristics of a larger problem. Whilst bipolar disorder
is a long-term illness that must be carefully managed
throughout a person’s life, it can be treated, and people
with this illness can lead full and productive lives.
Further information on mental illness, including bipolar
disorder, can be accessed on the following websites:
National Institute of Mental Health:
SANE Australia