with Sri Ganesh

But what is betrayal, what is companionship, in terms of the freedom of the soul…? If the body was not showing so many signs of ageing and degradation, I could simply move on and pray for him; but I am feeling so limited, hemmed in and incapacitated, that this sudden loss makes it all rather precarious and… unattractive…! I used to feel that this particular relationship was like a loving expression and confirmation of my whole life here, in the spirit of this place and this people; but it appears to have been just one more delusion. Yet no matter what, nothing can take away my inner sense of P’s soul, of his young psychic being, which trusted me with his very life…

Impassive and Free, Sri Ganesh, You stand at the head Of Luminous Nourishment, That which has gathered About you In the process Of Consecration –

Everything is to be learned By the soul…

- 09-07-14:

... Rs 100/- have been offered… When I came in, I found that P had left a small picture of You for me – he probably went to the Samadhi yesterday and wanted me to know about it… But he hasn’t yet faced anything and still acts a coward. Yesterday the pain was such that it reminded me of the experience I had when I had to send him to the hospital in Madras and the doctors gave him only 10 per cent chances of recovery – and the fight that went on in me, the intensity of the call… In this pain there was the character of an occult battle and yesterday I had to look at it from that perspective… In the sense that this “force” that nearly killed him then has later on lodged in him in a different way and made him act in a slow destructive fashion, forcing him to dissemble more and more…

And the two of us would be affected… … But I am not willing to accept defeat…

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