with Sri Ganesh

with me was now as much an integral part of his life as to be with his wife and child. He saw that and was relieved. But he had gone back to his house with the intention of bringing to it some of the changes he himself had undergone, such as a deep and conscious need for cleanliness and some order and material harmony, and he wanted very much to do this work before he came back to stay here a while again. To him it meant at the same time to confirm his choice to turn to You and to move out and away from a confusion of allegiances that had governed his life previously; he thus wanted to make a formal and active statement of belonging to You, of dedicating his entire future to You, openly and with the consent of his family. On the 25 th , a Friday, I decided that I was now ready to resume my service to Sri Ganesh, as I was now able again to do any physical work that was required for the upkeep and maintenance of Sri Ganesh’s place. All these weeks, Parthy had not been able to do anything much for the garden and even the Riddhi room and, to some extent, the shrine itself, needed attention. It was now very clear to me that, should I “leave”, vanish physically from the scene here, both “Sincerity” and the temple area would go to ruin fairly fast; I have yet to meet anyone here who can be as directly involved with the maintenance and harmony of a place… But as regards Sri Ganesh’s figure itself, Parthy had been consistent and genuine and whole-hearted and true: of that much he was capable and it was deep and I was hesitant to deprive him of it – although he would still always do it on Sundays -, all the more as I was, besides, quite doubting of my own sincerity and adequacy… It almost seemed to me that Sri Ganesh must surely prefer to be looked after by Parthy, rather than by me… We set another daily routine: Parthy would arrive at “Sincerity” for breakfast and we would drive together on his bike to Sri Ganesh’s and spend the morning sharing the tasks and gradually reestablishing some order and tidiness in the garden. We would drive back at or soon after noon and Parthy would return to his family home till the next morning. However, until he of himself felt the need to come back and stay with me again, I couldn’t be really at peace – something too near and dear wasn’t in place… And I was often unfair to him and was given to see more and more that, in his own fashion, he was more secure in our bond than I was,

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