The Worlds Worst Teachers extract

MR PENT’S BALLS

Balls here. Balls there. Balls everywhere. In the playground, footballs, tennis balls and even ping-pong balls would bounce at him from every angle. BOING! BOING! BOING! On spotting one, his eyes would all but pop out of their sockets, his face would go a shade of purple, his glasses would steam up and his comb-over would stick up on end. “BALLS!” Mr Pent would shout as he foamed at the mouth. The teacher’s hatred was so great that he stuck warning signs up all over St Orb’s . On every wall, door and window.

He even stuck one to the

dinner lady’s

bottom.

NO BALLS ALLOWED IN THE PLAYGROUND!

NO BALLS WHATSOEVER WITHIN A 100-MILE RADIUS OF THE SCHOOL!*

23 * This last rule was hard to enforce, even if, being a Maths teacher, he knew exactly what that one-hundred-mile radius covered on a map, using his compass and ruler, of course.