The Worlds Worst Teachers extract

THE WORLD’S WORST TEACHERS

Mr Pent would confiscate all balls on the spot. Then he would lock them up in his special ball cupboard at the end of a long corridor next to his classroom. The sign read:

BALL CUPBOARD BEWARE: CONTAINS BALLS

Over the years, Mr Pent stuffed hundreds and hundreds of balls of all sizes in there, and there was hardly any room for more. If any pupil dared to ask him, “Please can I have my ball back, sir?” the teacher would smirk to himself before replying, “Of course, child!” “Thank you, sir.” “Just one moment, if you please.” Then he would reach into the cupboard for the ball, and pop it with a pair of compasses he had concealed in his hand. POOF! The air would spurt out like a lazy bottom burp.* * One of those bottom burps that is in no hurry to leave. It seeps out over a period of seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or even, in extreme cases, years. These ones are hard to blame on others. Short, sharp ones have an element of surprise, and a dirty look at someone close by is enough to deflect blame. So a close friend informs me.

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